The Jak and Daxter Prank War
by animedragongirl
Summary: [I AM BACK!]Lessee, a prank war between the two best of friends and their allies. Who will win? Summary sounds WAY more sophisticated than story actually is. [17TH CHAPTER UP: CAMPING! As well as an explanation of my absence that isn't very good]
1. Never get Torn drunk

1.Never get Torn drunk

Jak wandered into the Naughty Ottsel. He was dropping off a shipment of beer for Daxter, and thus he carried it to the back room to get rid of it, not paying any attention to what else was going on. He then left it there, and was preparing to leave the room when he heard some drunken giggling.

Huh? he thought. Did one of Daxter's more drunken customers get back here and start drinking… even more, or was it something else?

He rounded a stack of crates and came face-to-face with the most unlikely person he ever would have thought to get as drunk as he was now.

"Torn!" he said, shocked.

Torn blinked owlishly at him, and giggled again. Jak shuddered. He never thought he would ever here someone like Torn giggle.

It was just plain _wrong_.

"Wanna 'ave sum?" Torn slurred. "'s good…" He hiccupped.

What the hell? Wait… he could have some fun with this.

* * *

Jak whipped out his gun and put a round through an innocent little butterfly that happened to be fluttering on its innocent little way past him. What was left of the innocent little butterfly dropped to the ground, and Jak picked this up and stuck in on the end of a purple pool noodle he managed to find, fixing it so that the wings stuck out in a crude parody of a real butterfly. He grinned smugly, pleased with his ultimately humiliating plan.

"Hey, Torn!" he called, waving the noodle. "Look at the butterfly! Come get the butterfly!"

Torn's head shot up. He caught sight of the butterfly, and instantly his eyes narrowed as he began to stalk the end of the purple floating device. He slowly crept up to it… shifted slightly… and leaped! And then landed hard on the ground in a face plant as Jak skillfully whipped the noodle out of range at the last second. Torn got up and shook his head, then began to stalk the butterfly again.

Jak waved the noodle to Torn's left… then to Torn's right… all the while enjoying himself immensely. Torn growled as once more what he thought of as the announcer guy from Kras City amazingly jumped from his grasp again.

And then came Daxter, Tess, Keira, Ashelin, Samos, and for some reason Razor… by some random plothole in this story which the author cares not to explain.

Everyone mentioned in the above paragraph, except Razor, openly gaped. Razor just continued to calmly puff away on his cigarette.

"What the HELL?" Daxter exclaimed. "What's wrong with the Tattooed Wonder?"

Ashelin grimanced. "Don't tell me…" she began. "He got drunk, right?"

Jak grinned ferally, and winked. She winked back. "Yep," he drawled. "Found him in the back room of the Naughty Ottsel. So I decided to have a little fun…" he laughed maniacally. Then he decided to see what would happen if he did something like this…

"Oh Too-orn," he said in a sing-song voice. "Guess who this is! It's your _good friend_ Daxter!"

Wrong thing to say. At least from the others' point of view.

In a trice, Jak was flat on the ground, and Torn was some distance away throttling the now-annoying pool safety/death threat/toy device like the world was gonna end tomorrow. Which, considering where this story happens to be taking place, is highly likely.

"Kill… annoying… bastard…" snarled Torn in his alcoholic-induced daze as he angrily tore the noodle into shreds.

Everyone except Razor, who has wandered somewhere else from a short attention span, and Jak, who is lying on the ground pretending to be scared and failing miserably, backed away slowly.

"O-okay," Daxter said, terrified. "I'm getting' out a here!" And he took off running for his life. Tess took off after him, shouting something along the lines of, "Wait! Daxter!"

Samos and Keira, now thoroughly in a like-wise state, raced off back to the Naughty Ottsel, where they will no doubt meet up with the other two who have already left. And so, this left Ashelin standing alone, an amused look on her face.

Once the others were out of sight, Torn left off killing what was left of the purple device. He smirked evilly.

"That was fun," he said cheerfully. "Great anger management, too, and it terrified that little rat no end."

Ashelin smiled. "I knew you weren't drunk when I saw that little display," she said dryly. "When you're drunk, you are _much_ more gullible."

Torn made a face at her. "Thanks ever so," he said, voice heavy with sarcasm.

Jak, meanwhile, was rolling on the ground laughing his head off. "Did… haha… you see his… oh my god… face?... ahahahahahaha!..."

Torn and Ashelin collapsed against a heap of metal, laughing as well, while Jak proceeded to bust a gut.

"That was good," Torn gasped.

"Yeah," agreed Jak. "I _love_ playing tricks on him!"

Ashelin had finally managed to get her giggles from the hilarity of the situation under restraint. "So…" she said carefully, trying not to break out into gasping hysterics like the two men in the vicinity were currently doing. "How much of that story was true?"

Jak managed to control himself. "All of it," he said, grinning. "The question would be what DIDN'T I tell them? I waited till Torn got sober before we planned that trick on Dax."

Ashelin made a face. "If you guys had been so good at doing this stuff when we were fighting for the city, we would have gotten rid of my father much more quickly."

"Yeah right," Torn scoffed.

"Yeah, he was too much of a stubborn bastard," Jak added.

"Very true."

"Yeah, well… what are you gonna do next?" asked Ashelin.

Jak and Torn looked at each other. And grinned. Evilly.

* * *

A/n- Yes, I have branched off into a new fandom! Thanks to Red Mage 04 who told me to go for it; and now it is my mission to bring more humor into the Jak and Daxter world!

Okay, no, you don't have to question my sanity. We all know that I am mentally deranged and loves to make random characters do stupid things.

So, until next time… blow up your most hated enemy! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! XD

-animedragongirl


	2. Think pink!

Thank you, to all those who reviewed. I got a total of three reviews in less than twenty-four hours, and for me that's a new record. I hope I get at least three reviews every chapter, heheh.

**Red Mage 04**- Think this is up to your standards? Nothing about pool noodles as revenge devices, but I'll see what I can think up and I'll send you some feedback with your next chapter sent to me. I can ask a girl at school, too, she knows lots of things…

**Meowen**- I update as soon as I can/feel like/am ready. So, in this case, the day after I publish this story!

**Jaklover123**- Here you go, it's more! Longer, too.

* * *

1. Think Pink!

"Say WHAT?" screeched Daxter.

"They played a trick on you and made you look even more like an idiot than you already are," Razor repeated calmly, and knocked the end of the ashes off his cigarette.

"I can't believe he'd do that to me!- well, actually I can," Daxter mused.

"Awww, poor Daxxie," Tess said. She placed a comforting paw on his shoulder.

"Obviously," Razor prompted. "You need to get them back."

"Yeah…" Daxter said. "Yeah!" Then he glared suspiciously at Razor.

"Why are you telling me all this?" he demanded.

"Because you're stupid and you never would have figured this out on your own," Razor commented dryly.

Daxter shrugged. Hell, it worked for him. Besides, the smoking elf was probably right. So he decided to take Razor's word for it, and get those three back. He'd have to do something that took their pride _way_ down...

* * *

Daxter laughed maniacally. Tess joined in along with him. Razor ignored them both.

"This is perfect!" Daxter exclaimed.

"Absolutely. They all HATE the color pink," cackled Tess. She had gotten into the spirit… somehow. The author has absolutely no idea.

So the two ottsels went out and carried out the "Pink Plan", as theydecided to call it.

* * *

Tesscarefully crept into the room. She sure as hell didn't want Ashelin to wake up and ask what was in the big sack she carried; it also made her look like Santa Claus, and that was embarrassing. So she got everything set up, and went to work.

First, she carefully emptied all the clothes from Ashelin's wardrobe/closet/drawers/whatever she uses, and filled it with bright pink clothes with happy/cheerful greetings on the front. They said things like "Have a nice day" and "I LOVE PINK!" on them.

Then, crawling up the covers, she took out a bottle of face paint that came out after five days and a paint brush. Delicately, she began to paint the blue tattoos brilliant pink.

* * *

Daxter crept into the Freedom Headquarters armed with nothing but a bottle of chloroform, two bottles of pink dye, a rag, and other various odds and ends, including a bucket and another bottle of face paint.

Torn was up… as usual… looking at maps. Even though the Underground took over the city again. This must be marked as another random plothole, and will thus be ignored.

Anyway…

Daxter silently unscrewed the bottle of chloroform and poured some on the rag. He then snuck up behind Torn.

Preparing himself… he leaped!... and missed. He hit the floor with a loud thump.

Torn started. There was the annoying orange rat… and he was holding a rag… and he appeared to be doing something.

"What do you want, annoying little bug," he snapped, squatting down to Daxter's level.

Unfortunately, for Torn, Daxter took the godsend opportunity to push the rag into Torn's face, effectively knocking out the tattooed commander.

Daxter moved on to the next phase of the plan. As soon as he was sure Torn was out of it and he wasn't faking, he unscrewed one of the bottles of dye, poured it into a bucket, and dunked Torn's head in. Torn didn't notice a thing, as Daxter took care not to put his nose or mouth under. He did, however, make sure Torn's eyebrows were below the surface.

After holding the commander's head under for a suitable period of time, Daxter pulled it out and dried his hair out, thoroughly toweling it. He didn't want Torn to get mad at him for screwing up the Freedom Headquarters as well.

He then unscrewed the bottle of face paint and proceeded to do the same thing Tess was doing to Ashelin at that very moment.

* * *

Tess was just putting the finishing touches on Ashelin's new face decoration, when she started to wake up- again. Tess quickly grabbed the rag that had the chloroform on it and pressed it to Ashelin's face. The lieutenant relaxed back into drug-induced sleep, and Tess breathed a sigh of relief. Ashelin was amazingly resilient to chloroform.

Her job now done, Tess quickly packed all her remaining tools away and took off, closing the door quietly behind her.

* * *

Meanwhile, Daxter had moved on to his revenge for Jak. Jak was already asleep, but Daxter made sure to drug him with the now foul-smelling rag. How did he know it was foul-smelling? I don't know.

He then continued with the second bottle of dye, and it can be said that Jak's hair was much easier to dye than Torn's. So that, by the time Daxter was finished, Jak's hair, eyebrows, and goatee were all a bright, cheery pink that should make everyone who saw it choke in disgust.

Next he took out the remaining face paint and proceeded to draw repulsive little hearts all over our poor hero's face.

And then came his final revenge…

Carefully… oh so carefully… Daxter brought out his most evil and terrible weapon…

Some long fake nails and pink nail polish!

Let us draw a close on this ultimately terrifying scene.

* * *

It was the next day. Can you guess what awful havoc Daxter and Tess's pranks had caused?

The unfortunate trio at the receiving end of the pranks huddled miserably in one of the darker booths at the Naughty Ottsel.

Ashelin was wrapped in a blanket with a hood over her face. She was muttering nonsense words under her breath, and her eyes darted back and forth. She seemed… rather… mentally insane…

Torn had not been able to procure a hood, and thus had to make do with a paper bag.

Jak, on the other hand, was extremely disgusted and had worn a pair of long, shapeless gloves and his cowl/scarf/whatever it is. This, unfortunately, did not cover his hair, and he was getting several odd looks. He was disgusted that Daxter would stoop so low and resort to the color _**PINK**_.

"This… is so… humiliating," gasped Torn from under the paper bag through which he could not breathe.

"Dude, you should have cut holes in that first," Jak said dryly.

"No way! I'm not… taking any… chances," Torn replied with some difficulty.

"Pink… the pink is everywhere…" Ashelin muttered, terrified.

"Hey, boys!" Daxter said cheerfully as he landed on their table. He had jumped there from the bar. "What'cha hidin'?"

Jak glared at the annoying rat. Torn surpressed the urge to throttle him, as he could not see. They both wished he was dead.

"Hey, hey, just askin' a civil question! No need to get, ah, uppity on me, is there?" Daxter said nervously.

That was it. Torn pulled off the bag over his head to see better, and then leaped at the offending fuzzball. A light flashed, and Torn fell back, stunned.

"Hah!" yelled said fuzzball. "I have undeniable proof! I'll frame it!"

Jak was now charging at the orange rat, Torn close behind. Unfortunately, Daxter succeeded in getting away, and the two grabbed Ashelin and went upstairs to live in seclusion for the next couple of days. But not without a few parting words…

"Watch out," Jak threatened. Torn just played with his knife in a menacing way. Ashelin babbled.

And so, they journeyed far up the stairs and out of sight… never to be seen again... untill the next chapter...

* * *

A/n- Okay, all you people review! I like reviews. They are good…

So, once again, moo is my all-purpose word! **MOO**!

-animedragongirl


	3. It won't let me put the full title here

Yeah, I got three reviews again! And thanks to Red Mage 04 who thought up the fur loss that happens!

**Red Mage 04**- Thanks again for the idea! It really turned out well(I think), though it might sound a little rambling. I wrote this around ten at night after a football game.

**Meowen**- I know, I hate pink too. It's the most awful color I could think of that I knew they would hate. My sister has a pink shirt that says "Have a nice day" that's surrounded by flowers. Heheheh, mine would probably be a little different… black with chainsaws, or something. And thanks for the fav!

**Jaklover123**- I hate all pastel colors. Especially that crappy mint green and that fuzzy-looking pink. Blah(chokes)

**WARNING**: Major Brittany Spears bashing. I hate her, and thus, Tess will too. As will everyone else. Except Daxter(for obvious reasons).

* * *

3. Terrifying pictures and evil Walkmans of DOOM 

Jak breathed a sigh of relief. It had taken two long weeks, but finally his hair was not pink anymore; neither was Torn's, and the face paint had, after tedious washings, come off. Jak had even managed to get rid of the creepy fake fingernails.

Ashelin had finally come out of her terrified state when Torn and Jak had managed to find her clothes that WEREN'T pink; it helped that they sedated her for a while, too.

And thus, equipped once more with non-pink clothes, accessories, tattoos, and hair, they had set about plotting a counter-prank/trick.

"We could kill him," Torn said after a long, grueling thought session.

"No, too quick," Ashelin mused absently.

"We could kill him slow," Torn suggested.

"Good, but we're not gonna kill anyone." Jak said wearily. He had been over this ground with Torn for hours. Torn lapsed into a thoughtful silence.

"We could blow up his sign again," Ashelin said slowly.

"Nooo… he made it missile proof." Torn said sadly.

"Hmmmmm…" muttered Jak. He was getting something… it was on the tip of his tongue…

"Tie him up in a deserted room to watch episodes of Barney?" Ashelin said.

Jak groaned. He'd lost it.

"I know!" Torn exclaimed. "Let's shave him!"

Jak sat up abruptly. "…and make him listen to opera music!" he added, face bright with excitement.

"What about Barney?" Ashelin said, miffed.

"Ummm…" Jak said. "For some strange reason, he actually likes that shit."

The other two stared at him in horror.

"Okay," Ashelin said, slightly pale. "But let's not make it opera music; how about little kid songs?"

"Yeah!" agreed Torn. "Those things would make any sane man crazy!"

* * *

Far away, from wherever Razor is, the black-haired racer sneezed…

* * *

"Little kid songs it is, then," Jak said. "But if we're doing Tess, too, then we have to get her something else. Women alone can stand those… things… Precursors know why."(A/n- It's because we're more resiliant! HAH!) 

"Hmmm," Torn said, then snapped his fingers. "I know! Make her listen to Brittany Spears, that ought to make her crazy enough."

Ashelin and Jak shuddered. Brittany Spears was almost as bad as little kid songs.

"Alright then, it's decided. But how will we get that son of a bitch and his girlfriend to where we're implementing the plan?" asked Torn.

Jak grinned. "Leave that to me," he said evilly.

* * *

Daxter and Tess were curled up together, around midnight, in their own little drawer… when their world began to literally shatter. 

Dark Jak roared in mock anger right next to Daxter's ear. The end result was getting a hair-splitting shriek out of both ottsels, and a case of short-term deafness for Jak. Nevertheless, Dark Jak let loose another roar, and this time the ottsels took off running, sprinting out the door and down the stairs.

They raced for the door… they were so close… and then the shadowy side of our hero came crashing down in front of them. They skidded to a halt, then raced past the bar and into the back rooms. Right where the trio wanted them to go.

Together, Daxter and Tess ran into the one furthest from where Jak was. Once inside, the door slammed shut, and the room was plunged into pitch black darkness. The two ottsels did not care. In fact, for about a minute, the only sound in the room was the sound of their panting.

Then, the lights flickered on. A dim glow lit the room from the two dull lights in the ceiling.

Torn stepped out of the shadows.

"Well, whadda ya know," he drawled. "Two little ottsels, all alone in the room… with us."

As he spoke, Ashelin stepped into view, twirling a length of rope between her hands. Dax and Tess froze for a second, then panicked as they realized that it had all been a trap, right from the start. Their fears were confirmed when the sound of a door opening echoed distantly, and Jak walked out from behind a pile of crates. He had a finger in his ear, no doubt trying to restore his hearing.

The one second without their attention on her was enough for Ashelin. She quickly tied them up, making sure to do so securely. She then picked them up, and carelessly tossed them into two chairs. Because by this time the two were screaming shrilly(which wasn't helping Jak's hearing), she gagged them as well.

Torn and Jak eyed Daxter, and Ashelin moved around to face Tess. Torn grinned maniacally and held up a buzzing shaver-thingie hair stylists use for buzz-cuts.

"You're doomed," was all he said. Daxter whimpered around the gag. Then…

…the trio proceeded. Jak and Torn carefully shaved off all the fur Daxter had, while Ashelin did the same to Tess. See if you can find the plothole here; it's as plain as the nose on my face.

After that particular part of the plan was covered, the three plotters stepped back to admire their handiwork. This meant taking pictures.

Readers: GASP!

Yes… take pictures.

(1812 Overture starts playing in the background…)

Still tied up, Ashelin and Jak cheerfully posed the two terror-crazed ottsels in various idiotic scenes, while Torn punched the "Take the picture button" with as much gusto as he would with shooting a gun.

After the three grew bored of this exercise, they moved on to the next step in carrying out their prank.

They took out… the evil Walkmans of DOOM!

Readers: NO!

Author: YES!

One was carefully labeled "Daxter", and the other had "Tess". Torn and Jak then put the evil Walkmans of DOOM on Daxter and Tess's heads. And then they pressed the play buttons.

Two seconds went by… and then they both lost it!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" the two ottsels shrieked in unision.

* * *

A/n- So… you likey? You reviewey? You wanna tell everyone you know? Next up, what happens when you give a crazy old man a gun… and I don't mean Samos! 

**MOO**! Heheh, I love this word XD

-animedragongirl


	4. Meet Jacob

I got MORE REVIEWS! This time I got SIX! GO ME!

**Red Mage 04**- Glad the last chapter made you feel better Hope you get well soon!

**Sean**- Thanks for the idea, but Pecker would probably be on Jak's side, he hates Daxter too much. In any case, this chapter's gonna even up the teams, and I'm planning on adding more and more people to each side until I've got a full head-on war going on.

**Meowen**- Everything I bash in my stories, I dislike or hate. Except Daxter. He's to cute

**Jaklover123**- They probably do, my friend, they probably do. XD

**VoodooDollofDoom**- Hope you like this too! I think I'll steal Red Mage 04's idea, and have Keira have a voodoo doll of Errol somewhere…

* * *

4. Meet Jacob

"So… you want a guy who can scare the hell out of someone?" Jynx repeated.

"And is harmless," Daxter reminded him. "Or rather, not. Just crazy enough to lower a guy's goddamn ego down to the devil's level."

"Okay, crazy scary guy. Check."

* * *

"Who's that guy?" Daxter asked, eyeing the guy with some apprehension. 

The guy looked as old as Samos, and as crazy, too. He was bent in half over a tiny staff, and moved about as fast as the slowest snail in the universe. He also had a long beard that dragged on the floor, and was wearing a bathrobe and slippers.

"The crazy scary guy you ordered," Jynx deadpanned. "His name is Jacob."

"Are you sure?" Daxter questioned doubtfully.

Jynx smirked. "Watch this," he said smugly.

Daxter watched the demonstration in silence. At the end, he thought for a few seconds to formulate his response.

But… because he doesn't know how to do anything serious, he just said, "Great choice," and grinned. He grabbed a bottle of the best stuff he sold and handed it to Jynx.

"Hey, whatcha gonna use him for?" asked Jynx, eyeing the bottle appreciatively.

"Scare the shit outta Jak, Torn, and Ashelin," Daxter replied happily.

"Torn?" Jynx said, with more than some interest. "Can I help? I got a score to settle with him."

"Sure! Right now, we're kinda in the middle of a… prank war, you might say."

"Oooo… tell me, is that why you're walking around in a blanket?"

Just as Daxter was about to explode in a frenzied… well, explosion of swearing, Razor walked by and swiped Jynx's bottle of alcohol. He was wearing headphones to a Walkman. Daxter heard some music coming from one of the hearing devices…

* * *

"Okay, will you calm down now?" Jynx said, rather impatiently. He had been through this for an hour. 

"Eheheheh," chuckled Daxter nervously, and finally slid down the pole he had jumped up.

"What was that about?" Jynx asked. "He walked by you, then you went all white and jumped ten feet."

Daxter shivered(as much as from the cold as from fear), looked to the left and right, then leaned forward and whispered, "It was their get-back for what we did to them!"

"What'd you do to them?" Jynx questioned interestedly.

Daxter puffed up with pride. "Dyed Jak and Torn's hair pink, painted Torn and Ashelin's tattoos pink, painted hearts on Jak's face, cleared Ashelin's wardrobe of everything and replaced it with pink clothing, and put fake fingernails on Jak's fingers- painted pink," he said smugly.

Jynx roared with laughter. "That… must've… been hilarious," he gasped out.

Daxter proudly displayed his pictures. "Sure was!" he said triumphantly. Jynx looked with intense hilarity at the pictures of Jak, Torn, and Ashelin, all showing signs of the dreaded color.

"So, what'd they do to you guys in revenge?"

"Shaved me'n'Tess, and made us listen to… horrible things."

"What kinda things?"

"I… I had t-to listen to k-k-kid s-s-s-songs, and Tess had t-t-to listen t-t-t-t-to B-B-Brit-tt-tany S-S-Spears," Daxter stuttered terrifiedly, and promptly was pale again. Jynx winced in sympathy. "Razor w-was l-l-listening t-t-t-t-to t-the k-k-kid songs!"

"Oh well, this'll screw them up so bad, they won't be able to walk straight for years," Jynx said comfortingly, though somewhat disturbed. Daxter seemed to gain courage from his words.

"Yep!" he said. "Now let me go tell Tess what we're gonna do."

* * *

The trio about-to-be victims were currently walking calmly down one of the back alleys they took while going to the Freedom Headquarters, when they walked into Jacob, mysteriously hanging out around the back door of the building. Of course, he just looked like a harmless old man to them

* * *

"Oh, this is gonna be good," whispered Daxter. Tess giggled. Jynx stuffed his face with popcorn, and offered some to the ottsels. They accepted happily, and all three leaned back in the chairs they had brought with them, relaxing to enjoy the show.

* * *

"Who're you?" Jak asked, rather rudely. He did not have good memories about old men. 

The old man glared at him, and sniffed the air suspiciously.

"He looks harmless," Torn said dismissively. "Let's go."

If Torn had a list of famous last words, these would definitely be some of them.

"You smell like peanuts," Jacob began in a creepy Italian accent. "My grandmother, and salami. GO TO HELL!"

And with that, the "harmless" old man whipped out a machine gun and started shooting away; Jak barely had enough time to go Light and wrap a shield around the three of them. They sprinted to the door, Jacob still shooting crazily after them. They all could hear the laughter of the perpetrators of the(they thought) terribly humiliating crime.

When they, reached the door, Jak managed to look back just in time to see Jynx fall off his chair laughing fit to blow, Daxter not to far behind, and Tess taking pictures of the hasty retreat.

* * *

"Hah, they didn't have to do that," cackled Jacob to Jynx later. "I used blank cartridges!" 

"I know," Jynx answered cheerfully. "But it sure scared them all right!"

* * *

A/n- I just wanted to have an excuse to put in Jacob. He's funny, isn't he? He's my muse's cousin, crazy as hell, but supremely hilarious. And really he's my age, but since he made it up in the first place… Although, really, there are actually bullets, not blank cartridges. I had to make it less mean, though 

**I also found out when Jak X is coming out! YEAH! It's coming out the eighteenth of October! I CAN'T WAIT!**

So… if you have some ideas you think would be funny, please suggest them! They'd make wonderful additions, and I'm kinda running low on pranks…

Readers: GASP!

Author: YES! GET OVER IT! (pushes readers off stage)

Anyway… I hope everyone had a good weekend! I slept in till noon each day, hah…

-animedragongirl


	5. The ottsel in training

I GOT MORE REVIEWS! I loves you, all of you! Hugs and kisses!

**Red Mage 04**- Thanks for the idea, heh, you can probably guess which one I used in here. It would be kind of hard to throw Daxter in the Marauder's Citadel, I'm keeping this in Haven city… or trying to.

**Meowen** and **Meowen with pranks**- Thanks, I've never actually played the game(the knowledge I have is from Red Mage 04's story, and what little I see/play when I'm over at my muse's house. She has the PS2), so that you said Jynx is in character is great! …especially since I never actually saw what he looked like until we were playing Jak three. It was right after when they blow up Daxter's sign. Well, that and the ending credits.

Thanks for the prank, too, I'll probably use it… eventually. And sorry, Razor's not in this chappie (pouts)

**Jaklover123**- Give me all the stuff you've got. If I don't like 'em, then I'll twist them so I do like them.

**CursedAvenger**- (squeals) This is your first review on here? And you gave it to me? I LOVE YOU! I know, writer's block is evil, but fortunately I don't get it much. In my other crack fic, I just chose random things (hinthint, PEEPS,hinthint), and wrote a non-existent plot around it. Thanks for the ideas, too, I'm getting evil brainwaves… evil for Jak's team, that is!

**Farr2rich**- Glad you've ventured onto my humble fic! Thanks for the support, I'm still debating on whether or not to add Samos to the mix; I have to even up the teams before I put him anywhere, because he'd probably be on Jak's team. And just as the teams were even, I added another person to Jak's side!

I got this idea from Red Mage 04! I swear, he is my second muse. Or shall become temporary one, as mine has vacated me, and forces me to think about Naruto. She claims that I am Jeriahyawhatsisname, the crazy perverted guy, and that she is Kakashi.

Okay, peoples! We shall all squeal with delight, as I have finally added fluffiness to the crazyness! We have fluffy Jak/Keira, non-fluffy(but references) to Torn/Ashelin, and slightly fluffy Dax/Tess! EVERYONE CHEER!

Readers: …

Author: Aw, screw you! (throws boot)

* * *

5. The ottsel-in-training 

"We should turn him into an ottsel," Torn declared. "He's annoying, and a bastard to boot. He fits the role perfectly."

"Torn," Jak said exasperatedly. "You have to DUNK HIM IN DARK ECO. I don't want to dunk him in dark eco. Because then I'd be responsible for _another_ person's problems."

The three were sitting in the Freedom Headquarters, plotting the demise of Daxter's team. Jynx especially.

"You're the reason Daxter is an ottsel?" Ashelin asked. "How'd he fall in dark eco?"

"Eheh…" Jak mumbled, and shifted uncomfortable in his seat, looking away. "I, uh, accidentally pushed him in, eh, yeah."

"Nice," Torn said appreciatively. He was glad that Daxter was an ottsel; he was probably more annoying as an elf.

"Not really," Jak muttered.

Keira walked in. "Hi, Jak," she said. Jak slid an arm around her waist and absently pulled her on his lap, wrapping his arms around her. "Hi, Keira."

Discreetly, Ashelin elbowed Torn. "Why don't you do that?" she asked him irritably.

"What'cha doing?" the mechanic asked Jak.

"Planning," they all said at once.

"Can I help?" the wrench-puller wanted to know.

"Tell us how to dunk Jynx in dark eco without actually dunking him at once," Torn said instantly.

"We're NOT going-" Jak began heatedly.

"You mean, get him soaked in it?" Keira interrupted. "I could probably rig a sprinkler type system that could soak him in a couple of seconds. Why?"

"To turn him into an ottsel," Jak said irritably. "I told him no, I don't want to be responsible AGAIN-"

"That's a great idea!" Keira squealed. "I wanna get back at him, too, he's soooooo perverted! He's made so many comments, I just want to… oooo!"

"He what?" Jak growled instantly. "All right, I'm in."

Torn blinked. He thought he'd have to argue longer.

"Me too," Ashelin said. "This'll be fun." She laughed sinisterly. Everyone else stared.

"Did I know she could do that?" Torn stage-whispered to Jak.

"I don't think so," Jak muttered in reply. Ashelin continued to laugh.

When she finally finished, Torn was like "…O-kay, then, let's get back to business."

"I'll go work on it right now," Keira said. She slipped out of Jak's lap and walked away. Jak pouted.

"Okay," he said to Torn and Ashelin. "Let's go lure Jynx to… somewhere. Or at least plan to."

* * *

In no time at all, Keira had the sprinkler system all worked out. She explained it to Jak's team, who tried not to look completely ignorant. 

"See, this gauge situated in this area tells you how much eco is absent from this container; you only get an average of three gallons per container. This is the sprinkler head, and it's connected to the containers by a long flexible pipe, so that the containers can be in one place and the head in another. This'll help prevent Jynx from finding out what we're up to, so less of a chance of failure," she said seriously, as she presented the machine to her friends.

"…" Torn's mouth was open, and he was trying to figure out what she had just said. Jak was proud; his girlfriend could confuse Torn! He could_kind_ of get what she said, but then he'd lived with her for a long time, and had to endure translation after translation, because Daxter could never figure out if she was explaining something, or asking him to go out on a date.

"I think he needs an explanation in English," Jak said, pointing to Torn.

"Ummm…This gauge tells you how much dark eco you have left; these are the containers FOR the dark eco; and this is the sprinkler head. And this is the long squiggly pipe that connects the two," Keira translated. Torn nodded, getting it at last. And he also resolved never to show confusion again. (This often resulted in Torn missing out in important details on missions, and thus causing big screw ups in orders.)

"Okay then," Jak said. "Where're we gonna get Jynx again?"

"In a back room at the Naughty Ottsel," Torn replied. "We told him to meet who he thinks is a possible client (cough)victim(cough) who will be paying him big time."

* * *

"Hey, lookit this," Jynx drawled, waving a piece of paper in Daxter's face. 

The ottsel snatched it from the explosive expert's hand, and read it aloud to Tess. This is what the note said:

" 'To Jynx:

I have a proposition to make of you. Please meet me in the third back room of the Naughty Ottsel at ten 'o clock. If you are interested in my offer, meet me promptly and do not be late.

Signed,

-Rayne'

"Oohoo, going out with the ladies, eh?" Daxter said. "Go for it, she's hot."

"I know she is. I saw the pictures you took of her from Kras city," Jynx said innocently.

Tess lazily waved her tail. "I've gotten over his stupid infatuation," she informed the blonde. "He'd go after women, but I compromised. He gets to look at the girls if he doesn't actually date them."

Daxter shook his head mournfully. "She got the better end of the deal," he told Jynx ruefully. Jynx just shook his head in amazement.

"You actually got him to do something like that?" he asked, scratching his head in wonder.

"Yep," the former female elf said. "I just told him I wouldn't sleep with him any more."

Jynx made gagging noises as he imagined exactly what they did. Let's just say… it wasn't far from the truth.

"Alright, I'll go meet her," he told Daxter.

* * *

Jynx whistled. It was about nine fifty, and he was heading down the stairs to meet "Rayne". I suppose it could be said that the note didn't exactly lie when it said who would meet him. 

He walked through the first two rooms, and entered the third. He saw Rayne standing between to stacks of crates in the right side of the room. He walked toward her.

"Hi," he said, standing just in front of her.

And then the darkness fell. (insert funeral music)

Jynx heard something hiss above his head, and he looked up… just in time to see something dark and liquid-like come spraying out of what looked like a sprinkler nozzle. He closed his eyes out of reflex, and before he could move, was soaked to the skin in the strange substance.

Then it stopped. The liquid wasn't hitting him anymore, and the noise was gone too; and now that he thought about it, when had the crates looked so large?

And then he knew…

"Holy shit!" he shrieked, and ran around in circles through the hologram(for that's what it was) of Rayne, as he took inventory of his new… shape.

* * *

Jynx was sitting gloomily on the bar. Daxter was eyeing him with amazement. 

"Are you sure you're Jynx?" he asked suspiciously.

Jynx the ottsel glowered at him. His fur was dirty blond, the tips of his fingers stained grey. He was wearing a pair of rather dirty pants, and his tail was curled behind him. The late elf chewed on a cigar. "Yes," he snapped angrily. He had drunk quite a lot, thus his current mood.

Daxter grimaced. He knew Jak probably had something to do with this, and resolved to ask him when he next saw him.

And speak of the devil, there he was now. Torn and Ashelin were smirking, and Jak looked smug, as he walked side by side with Keira, a lazy arm snaked around her waist. They sauntered up to the bar, satisfaction trailing every step of the way.

"Something new here?" Torn drawled to Daxter.

"Heh, that's for the crazy guy with the gun," Ashelin said cheerfully.

"And the comments," added Keira and Jak in unison.

"Aw, give it a rest!" the explosives expert growled, and hopped off the bar, swaying a bit. He walked up the stairs and out of sight.

Daxter watched him go. "Okay, no more turning people into ottsels, okay?" he said.

"No more crazy guys with guns," countered Jak.

"Deal," Daxter said, and they shook on it.

* * *

A/n- Okay, sorry again this wasn't up yesterday; I was busy yesterday morning(and exhausted, I only got one hour of sleep, and promptly fell asleep in English) and it was my sister's day on the computer yesterday, and thus would not relinquish it at all. I would have gotten on the computer after my parents had gone to bed, if it weren't for the previous night… and I'm cutting it pretty fine right now. 

Oh, well, life goes on… but I have found that I almost forgot what watching cartoons you like is like, I don't have to work! (cheers)

Okay, am getting away from the point. Wait… what was the point in the first place?

Oh well, I'll think of it soon… I hope…

Okay, got it! I made Keira's first explanation as long and complicated as possible. I scoured my vocabulary; pity I couldn't add soliloquy to the mix…

And if you find this crazier than usual, I BLAME RAMEN AND OLIVER TWIST!

-animedragongirl


	6. Total Pandemonium

Okay, thanks to reviewers. I got five reviews- no wait, six.

**Red Mage 04**- Glad you liked it. (sniffles sickly) When can I expect the first chapter of your sequel? (Can you tell I'm impatient?)

**Meowen**- Saw your pic, it's great. I'm gonna add a detail to the last chapter saying he has a bandolier across his chest when I get the time. And I forgot what I meant when I wrote the last chapter… only that it wasn't Jynx/Rayne… I don't know who to put Rayne with, since I haven't seen the game yet.

**Afeenaninganing**- Did I spell your name right? Thanks for the author AND story fav, as well as the alerts! I'm glad you like this, because I love writing humor, and I can't write anything serious (unless it's like, a few sentences. Then I'm okay.)

**Jaklover123**- Eheh, you get to find out.

**Mr. Light Chicken Bulbs**- (pokes name) Cool name! I might be able to use the idea!

…and for all you people who are wondering who my muse is, here she is! She's reviewing on my story!

**Andrea Aiello**- Why do you like it when I add ? Who are you? ARE YOU STALKING ME? No, just kidding! (Hugs friend) This is my musey! Say, "Hi!" to musey!

Readers: HI MUSEY! WE LIKE YOU!

Author: Hey, how come you like her?

Okay, I came up with this by myself. I don't know how booze (I like that word!) reminds Jynx of sneezing powder, but oh well.

**WARNING**: I was sick when I wrote the last half, so it might be confusing, and the readers that I always put in here are all in my head. That way you aren't angry at me. Oh, I was also listening to the Numa Numa song instead of Greenday (Their concert is next Saturday!) like I normally do, and… a trellis with flowers fell over, too. Stupid Wind!

* * *

6. Total Pandemonium

"Alright, order, order people!" The judge yelled, pounding the gavel into the little plate thingie judges pound gavels into.

"Now," he continued more calmly. "We are here to witness the complaints of… Jynx the ottsel?... compiled against Jak Mar, uh… Torn, Ashelin Praxis, and Keira Hagai."

"Damn right!" Jynx yelled from where he was standing, shaking his fist, on the prosecutor's table.

"Silence!" The judge thundered.

Jynx grumbled, but he sat back down on the table. Jak sniggered.

"Bring the first witness to the stand," the judge ordered. Daxter was escorted up the steps.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, or so help you Precursors?" the bailiff said.

"I do!" Daxter yelled.

"What?" asked the judge.

"I DO!"

"Don't yell in the courtroom, please," the judge said stiffly. Daxter grumbled. Jynx's lawyer got up.

"Where were you on the night of the twentieth of Sunset?" he rapped out after a few minutes of angry pacing.

"In the bar of my, uh, bar, the Naughty Ottsel," Daxter said.

"Are you the owner of this establishment?"

"Uh, yeah."

"So you would know what was going on at all times?"

"Probably not." A gasp rippled through the audience.

"Excuse me, sir." The lawyer said quizzically, "You would not?"

"No," the ottsel said in annoyance. "For example, I might tell someone to put something away, but for all I know, they're gonna meet up with their partner and ditch the place. I wouldn't know until the next morning."

"I didn't know the rat was so smart," Torn whispered to Jak.

"Me neither," the blonde muttered back in undertone.

"Hey!" Daxter yelled shrilly, causing the judge to wince and the lawyer to slap both hands over his ears.

"Alright, just go on with the questioning," the judge said, wincing as he felt his ears.

"So… how would you describe that man's activities that afternoon?" The lawyer said, waving a hand at Jak.

"How would I know?" Daxter asked disgustedly. "I haven't seen him since we hired Jacob to scare the shit out of him and his friends."

"Wait a minute!" The judge roared angrily. "You mean this is some prank war?"

"Uh… no?" Daxter squeaked, seeing the look in Jynx's eye.

"Jak Mar! Is this a prank war this rat is complaining about?"

"Well, duh."

"Alright, everyone get out of my courtroom! We don't settle prank wars! Out! Out!" And with that, the judge stormed out of the room in high bad temper. Jynx exploded (literally, his fur caught on fire from the force of his fury) into a cacophony of swearing, profanity, and insults.

"Might wanna cool down, you'll set off the courthouse in a minute," commented Daxter.

* * *

Jynx paced the length of the bar, muttering oaths and curses every step of the way in his now-singed fur. The Naughty Ottsel was closed for the time being, as Daxter and Tess wanted a day off, and neither fancied telling Jynx to get off. He was freakin' mad as hell, for precursors' sake!

"Jynx!" Daxter finally snapped. "Just play another prank on 'em! For the love of booze, did you really think suing them was gonna work?"

Jynx stopped and stared at Daxter suspiciously. "And what if I was?"

Daxter just rolled his eyes. He had really thought Jynx would have more sense than that.

Just then, Razor walked in for no apparent reason. "Gimme a drink!" he said.

"We're closed," Tess said.

"So?"

"It means we aren't selling beer," Tess said, annoyed.

"So?"

"…We aren't gonna give you any."

"And I care beca- wait! I do care! **GIMME THE BOOZE!"** roared Razor.

"NO!" yelled an equally pissed Tess, and threw him into a stack of black boxes, which, by some plothole known only by the author who cares not to divulge the secret, turned Razor into an ottsel. Jeezeus, I'm turnin' everyone into an ottsel, aren't I?

"Whoa!" yelled Razor drunkenly. "I'm small! Hahahahahaha!"

…and he was. Well, he was taller than the other ottsels. He also had black fur, and was wearing an oversized red coat.

"Okay, that is VERY freaky," Daxter said.

"Whatever!" yelled Tess.

"That's it!" shrieked an elated Jynx. "We'll use the BOOZE! Razor, you're a genius!" And with that, the happy ottsel went and hugged the drunken one. Then he ran out of the room.

"We'd better follow him," Daxter said sadly to Tess. And then to Razor: "Wanna join us? We're pranking Jak, Torn, Ashelin, and Keira."

"I like… the booze…" Razor slurred drunkenly.

Daxter rolled his eyes. "Good enough," he said, and walked out after Jynx with Tess.

* * *

"So, what's our plan?" Daxter said, with a sarcastic hint on the word plan.

Jynx cackled insanely. He wasn't paying any attention to Daxter whatsoever.

"Alright," Daxter said disgustedly. "Me'n Tess'll just go and get Jak 'n company, then."

So he left… with Tess… dragging a drunk Razor whom I am bashing for no reason… and this story is really dragging out/getting thin. I BLAME RAMEN, FOUR DAYS OF ABSTINENCE(from WRITING, get your minds out of the gutter you pervs,)AND CANDY CORN.

Readers: Get on with the damn story!

Author: SHUT THE HELL UP! (shoots nuclear warhead)

Readers: BOOM (guts fly everywhere)

Author: That's what I thought! (cackles evilly)

Readers: Hah! We fooled you! Those were our seventeen-year clones!

Author: GODDAMN YOU ALL, YOU FUCKING BASTARDS! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

Mysteriousmayhemmaker: SHUT UP, DAMNIT! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!

Okay, back to the story.

"Hey, Jak!" yelled Tess. "Lookit who we found!" She supported Razor.

Jak turned around. "Oh my god!" he yelled. "I had NOTHING to do with that, I swear! I SWEAR!"

"With what?" Keira asked. She popped her head out of the door of her garage, which is where this is currently taking place. "Holy crap!"

She raced to a comm. unit, and punched in a sequence of numbers. "Ashelin!" she screamed into it. "Razor turned into an ottsel!"

"What? I'm calling Torn. We'll be there in a sec!"

Little did they know that Jynx was cackling evilly as he rubbed his hands together and thought about the last part of his plan.

* * *

In almost no time at all, Torn and Ashelin were there.

"Okay," Daxter said. "If you will all now move onto this large and conspicuous and suspicious X, I'll explain how Razor came to be what he is. Everyone moved to stand on the large and conspicuous X, because they weren't paying attention.

(At this point in time, Razor was babbling away in drunken lurker language, "A cabo shursuboj!")

Torn looked at him strangely, and then Jynx tipped over the barrel he was leaning against on the nearby rooftop. The barrel dropped, scattering a fine green dust over everything. Jak's team instantly began sneezing.

"Sneezing powder!" Daxter said triumphantly through his gas mask. Tess smiled behind hers. Razor sneezed and yelled "Jxeek kxo rujkuh budwuhukj!" because they had forgotten about him. And frankly, so have I. And goddamnit, I'm tired, so I'm ending this.

* * *

A/n- I know, crappy chapter. And I give credit of the language entirely to **Farr2rich**, as I deciphered the Lurker language in that writer's chapters. If you want to know what Razor says, go read them and find out yourself.

Check the bottom of my bio if you want to know who Mysteriousmayhemmaker is… I'm probably gonna end up drawing everyone who's an ottsel(that I turn into an ottsel, I mean), so if I do, I'll put up links off my bio for you guys to check…

I'm on medication. For sneezing. I'm going to bed. **XP**

-animedragongirl


	7. or here

I have reviewers! Yeah, me!

**Afeenaninganing**- I think I've already done that…

**Red Mage 04**- Ummm… Dark Jak is, uh, hibernating! Yeah, that's it, ahahahaha…

Dark Jak: (glares) I don't hibernate!

Animedragongirl: (stuffs Dark Jak in a crate) Uh, oh, look at that, the window's open! The wind just blew in!

Dark Jak: (shakes crate, which is made of three tons of reinforced steel) Bang! Bang!

**CursedAvenger**- Thanks for the previews, they made me feel somewhat better… I still feel a little under the weather, but so far, I've recovered. I think this has something to do with my friend's brother, I got to see him again… he's cute, XD And thanks for the review! This is such an honor, being reviewed by you!

**LunarSquirrel**- Thanks for the fav and alert, you are the fifth person to do both D this makes me happy, but when they get to nine, good things shall happen to me. Nine is my lucky number! Thanks for the idea, but I don't think I'll do that… that would make him too sad. And I've already got Dark Jak- er, haha, I mean Jynx and Razor after me.

Jynx: I'm gonna kill you! (starts chasing animedragongirl with lots of explosives)

Razor: (powers up racing car and speeds after already fleeing author) DIE!

Dark Jak: (pathetically rocks steel box)

**Jaklover123**- Several of my best friends are bi… I don't love them any less for it. If Razor is homo for sure, then we can put him up with Errol on that level. Me? I'm a yaoi fangirl myself.

**WARNING**: Everyone is bashed in this chapter. I blame my most recent book and Will Cuppy.

I also wrote this part of the Author's Note at four in the afternoon.

* * *

7. The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody 

Jak sneezed. Again. For the 1,928,738,927,483,746,293,867,469th time that day.

Unfortunately, he accidentally started something of a trend when Torn sneezed, then Ashelin, THEN Keira, and finally a sorry-looking gloomily sober Razor.

"If someone had ever told me I would spend the day sneezing until I sneezed 1,928,738,927,483,746,293,867,469 times, I would say they were as screwed as hell," our hero commented rather thickly.

No one answered; other than Torn, who just sneezed, and set off another trend that had Razor sneezing five times in quick succession.

Keira absently petted the depressed ottsel on the head as he gasped for breath. "We… ACHOO!... have to figure out a way to get rid of this crappy powder! ACHOO!" she sneezed out. Isn't that a funny word? Sneezing/sneeze/sneezes? Kind of like soliloquy!

Ashelin and Torn sneezed simultaneously. And they both simultaneously smashed heads so that Jak and Keira simultaneously started laughing. And then THEY started simultaneously sneezing! And then little lions started popping out of… somewhere… and dancing to "Only in Kenya" with some tigers… and I think my plot is diminishing miserably. Hello, I have those little tigers and lions from that flash movie appearing in my story!

And so, once again, Razor sighed gloomily. He did this before? WHY WASN'T I TOLD? I mean, it's not breaking the laws of physics (My friend already did that… she made Jak trip in Jak III by making him run around in little circles… I did it in Sandover.), but still… it at least makes hell freeze over. Oh wait, I did that too. NEVER MIND!

"Maybe Samos will know," Torn suggested, and broke out sneezing once again from holding it in for so long.

"Yeah!" Jak said, and sneezed. "He should… ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO! Know, he's a green… ACHOO! Sage! ACHOO!" Okay, how many sneezes has that been? Between now and before, he's sneezed about twenty times.

So, they ventured on a long and grueling journey(approximately two rooms over, made worse by the fact that they kept sneezing and ricocheting into each other from the force of the sneeze… my sister did this into the side of the pool and the counter) to Samos. Razor was, of course, by this time so exhausted he could barely stand up straight. Keira was now carrying him, as Torn, Ashelin, and Jak hated him too much. Keira just felt sorry for him.

Readers: Awwwwwwwwwwwww!

Author: (starts banging head on the keyboard) GET. OUT. OF. MY HEAD.

Readers: (all laugh maniacally)

"What's the problem?" Samos said in his old man/sagely/annoying voice. Needless to say, he started off another sneezing rampage.

"Sneezing powder?" He asked dryly. You all know what happens next by now.

"All right then. To make the antidote, you must bring me ten Metal Head skull gems."

"Jak? Do you… ACHOO! Have ten skull gems on you?"

Jak shook his head. Keira sighed, then sneezed. "I was afraid of that."

All at once, a llama burst in!

…then it blew up. Whatever. Why do I bother?

Just then, Razor sneezed. This made him ricochet out of Keira's arms and hit a zoomer, somehow hotwiring it and making it start, and making it zoom(with him still on it) straight toward Spargus at breakneck speed.

Everyone stared. And sneezed. Okay, how many people have I done away with so far?

And so, Jak and co. headed out of the city(sneezing pathetically all the way) to hunt Metal Heads. Of course, they did everything but get killed because this is stupid and the prank war isn't over yet.

"Jak! ACHOO! To your left!" Keira screamed. Jak sneezed and slammed backward into the Metal Head, effectively killing it.

Torn jumped for the skull gem…

…and found himself…

…on the ground. He'd sneezed and rocketed backward.

Ashelin grabbed the skull gem and shoved it into the bag, then sneezed so hard she dropped the bag and fell off the cliff. Oh well; we'll miss her, but she'll be back by next chapter.

And of course, Torn had to go and do the same thing, except without the bag. Well, that and the fact he walked into a tree first.

So… somehow… Jak and Keira made it back to the city. They only just made it before the spot where they had been hunting Metal Heads blew up, too.

So Samos gave them the antidote… which didn't work. So they walked to the Naughty Ottsel to see if Jynx had a good antidote.

They walked in. The bar was closed… again… for some strange reason. Daxter, Tess, and Jynx were all sitting at the bar. Sig was standing there, too.

"Hey Jynx… ACHOO! Do you have an antidote? ACHOO!"

Unfortunately, this sent Jak headfirst into the bar, and the impact promptly knocked him out cold.

"Jak! ACHOO!" Keira cried.

And then… Jynx fell over laughing, which resulted in knocking him out on the floor when he hit a strangely placed board. This knocked a shelf of bottles askew, and they all rolled off and hit Daxter on the head. This made him look like Daffy whenever he's hit by an anvil, and also knocked him into Tess, who tripped and fell against Sig, who… turned into a…

"Oh my… ACHOO! God! It's a llama!" Keira yelled. The llama that was Sig kicked her, and she fell through a black hole that mysteriously appeared in the floor. The llama then walked into a pipe, and turned back into Sig. Thus, all the characters were effectively knocked out… And Sig will have a very peculiar side effect when he wakes up…

"And now, children!" Samos, said, popping up out of nowhere. "This is what happens when you start a prank war!"

This startled the author and the readers, because they were all falling asleep. They then proceeded to throw boots, tomatoes, pewter plates, llamas, bricks, potatoes, cheesecakes, oranges, rakes, doorknobs, and tablets at the screaming sage as he ran for cover.

And now, we shall draw a close on this frankly stupid and idiotic scene… as there is no point to go on until next chapter… or until Samos is dead. Have it either way.

* * *

A/n- I was listening to flash movies while writing this… You can find them at: 

**Numa Numa**: http: (doubleslash)albinoblacksheep(dot)com(slash)flash(slash)numa(dot)php

**Lions in Kenya**: http: (doubleslash)www(dot)albinoblacksheep(dot)com(slash)flash(slash)kenya(dot)php

**Llama song**: http: (doubleslash)albinoblacksheep(dot)com(slash)flash(slash)llama(dot)php

If you want more, e-mail me, and I will give you more funny sites.

If someone can guess the thing I named this chapter after and the creator's name, then I will give you a cookie.

If you have read/watched/listened to that particular thing, and know what I am talking about, then I shall love you forever. I dare say the creator will, too. He's dead.

Okay… Yes, I have pretty much lost my mind. I'm still sick. It's driving me nuts. I slept all day yesterday…(I didn't have to go to school…)…(Well, I did, but I stayed home instead…)… so I couldn't sleep. I'm posting this later today(it's 1:31 a.m. right now), just in case I get more reviewers to respond to.

Yeah. So.

-animedragongirl


	8. A brown llama

I got five reviews! This is fun!

**Red Mage 04**- Thank you! I've had a lot of practice, I wrote twenty-two chapters like this in my other fanfic. Don't worry, I'm making even more teams; I've decided it's gonna be young against old, and hopefully, another thing which shall be explained at the end of the chapter. And thanks for your concern, it made me feel better. You and everyone else who said they hoped I got well!

**CursedAvenger**- Well, if I'm the only one whose story you're reviewing, then it must be pretty special, huh? Heehee, I'm better… at least, I'm not sneezing anymore. Now I've got a cough that hurts.

**LunarSquirrel**- I love that song, too! I especially like the parts when it shows the best trajectory for all of Kenya to "physically urinate over Norway" and the giraffes, when the lion is biting the one on the leg and it starts to slooowly slide down! And I'm better, at least I'm not sneezing anymore!

**Afeenaninganing**- You're a rabbit?... Oo

**Jaklover123**- If you liked those, you get more! Here:

Strindberg and Helium: http:(doubleslash)www(dot)strindbergandhelium(dot)com(slash)

Viking Kittens: http:(doubleslash)www(dot)dennyweb(dot)com(slash)viking(underscore)kittens(dot)htm

And last, but DEFINITELY not least:

Potterpotter movie: http:(doubleslash)thefifthdistrict(dot)com(slash)potter(slash)

The last one you have to watch until Snape comes on for the third time…

**WARNING**: I am being very mean to Razor in this chapter. I did not do this intentionally, but I just ended up writing it. Don't get me wrong, I like Razor!

**Disclaimer**: I find it necessary to do this, though by now everyone knows that none of us in the fandoms own the Jak series. If one of us did, there'd either be a lot of pairings, a lot of homosexualness(which I am personally not against), there would be a lot of creepy random people, and the series would not have turned out the way it did. Plus, none of us would be writing fanfiction about it, either.

No. I'm not saying any of that stuff you usually find, I'm just borrowing the kung-fu yakkows the Baron owns from Kitty Kat-Chan! It's from her story- Torn's Little Problem- but unless you like Yoai, I suggest you stay away from it… it's very funny, though! All the farm animals know how to protect themselves… like the chickens… hahahaha, they had knumchucks… Yeah, that and the apocalypse is coming.

**OKAY. LOOK AT THIS. MAKE SURE YOU READ AND UNDERSTAND THIS.**

**I NEED YOU ALL TO READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE AT THE BOTTOM. GOT THAT?**

* * *

8. A brown llama 

Daxter groaned. His head felt as though one of those kung-fu yakkows from the baron had kicked him. Really hard.

He finally decided to open his eyes after the few minutes spent cursing the goddamn headache. Unfortunately, a light was on near his head, or something like that, and it sent angry jolts of pain into his headache, making it hurt even more.

So… we'll just skip that part for a while… until he regains his sight…

When Daxter finally regained his sight, he sat up and looked at the strange scene in front of his eyes.

Jak, Jynx, and Torn were playing poker and drinking. Tess, Ashelin, and Keira were chatting in a corner and drinking. Razor was sitting on Keira's shoulder. Apparently he had become a kind of… sidekick. Nobody was sneezing. Sadly.

"Huh?" he asked, voice a little slurred. "Whas goin… on?"

Jak waved to him. "We've decided to make peace," he said. "We were waiting for you to wake up, then we're gonna go after Samos and the rest of the old guys."

Torn snorted. "I wonder what we're gonna do to 'em!" he said cheerfully. "I've always wanted to do something like prank them all!"

"Well," Jynx said, "we've gotta plan something. Sooner, if not later."

"Let's tie him up and… make him look at the plants he most hates!" cheered Ashelin.

"Daddy likes all plants," Keira retorted hesitantly. "I don't think he hates any of them."

"Voodoo dolls!" Jak said triumphantly. "We can make a voodoo doll! And then we can make him do bad things to plants, and make the plants hate him…" he trailed off laughing evilly. Everyone else ignored this last part as they contemplated the brilliance of his simple plan, except for a large, dark brown llama.

"Hey, where did the llama come from?" Razor said suddenly, pointing to said large, dark brown llama.

The llama hiccupped and turned into Sig.

"What the hell!" screeched Daxter.

"Finally!" Sig yelled. He brushed himself off. This was rather pointless. Did he care? No. Tess did. He was getting her nice clean floors dirty. So she hit him with a frying pan. The end result was him turning back into a llama.

"This is really stupid," Razor said, pointing out the obvious.

"You think?" Torn said sarcastically. He… "accidentally" elbowed the black ottsel in the back, causing him to fall onto Keira's chest… which pissed off Jak. The poor racer (Can you guess I'm slowly but surely turning into a Razor fangirl/sympathizer?) found himself with a deathgrip on his throat. Keira hit Jak for hurting her poor sidekick. Jak looked all sad and dropped Razor. Keira picked up Razor and put him back on her shoulder. This paragraph is pointless. Mark it as one of the worst things you have ever read.

Alas, I digress. Back to the story!

Readers: SHUT THE HELL UP!

Author: (sniffs) You're not there, you're not there…

Readers: (wail in distress as they mysteriously vanish)

Ahem.

"Awww, poor Razzie," Keira said. "He's just jealous 'cause _he_ doesn't get to ride on my shoulder!"

Jak glowered. Razor looked happier. Everyone freaked.

"What the HELL?" Daxter demanded yet again. Jynx just passed out along with Torn and Ashelin. Tess ignored everyone as she cursed Sig for getting dirt on her floor. Sig just stayed unconscious with a large lump on his head.

"Okay," Daxter said, shaken. "We can't do anything until they wake up, so we might as well wait."

* * *

A/n- Don't kill me! I know it's short, but I like, had this massive brainwave right in the middle of typing it, so I decided this would just be a filler chapter. And right now, I'll explain how this massive brainwave caused this to stop right here. 

Reviewers: STUPID MASSIVE BRAINWAVE!

Okay. You might not like this at first, but if no one wants to do it, then I'll just write another chapter following this storyline, and it'll be like a part two.

First off, yes, the two teams have banded together. They are going to attack Samos, who will get a team of his own, containing Damas(yes, I KNOW he's dead, but for the sake of the fic and the fact I hated that, I'm bringing him back), Kleiver, Veger(obviously he's with Kleiver, don't worry, I'll bash him a lot), Sig, Onin, Pecker, and a surprise guy… who won't actually do anything, he'll be in there just to piss off Jak.

What I am intending to do is put all my faithful reviewers in the story to help make the prank war really fun. If you want to do this, first off, review to let me know you read this. Then you have to e-mail me telling me what you want to be(elf, human, ottsel, monkeet, and yes, you can be a llama), what your special talent is (techie, explosives guy, racer, hit man, comedic relief, sage(not to many of these, please, and has to be existing eco type ONLY)), which team you want to be on(if all of you say Jak's team, I'm gonna tell my sister to pick a number of random names that I **WILL** be on), and any quirks you might have(like being a coward, afraid of spiders, can't swim, etc.). You must also describe yourself, because I will be drawing pictures, and so I can describe you accurately. Just because this would cause a major upheaval in the story, no one can have a random alter ego like Jak, or have a main character love you if they're already in a pairing. This would make it too much like a Mary Sue fic, and that is what I am desperately trying to AVOID. Note, we will all somehow get sucked into our computers… unfortunately… so there're no ex-K.G. fighters.

(Sigh)

I suppose… if you're really good… I can add an element to you, too… like, if you've reviewed like… five times… you get a special power. This would mean… you could have an element(fire, water, wind, etc.), or just an affinity over one type of eco, or…something else. And this would mean you reviewed five times BEFORE this chapter came out. I have a list of people eligible for this offer, don't worry about people cheating.

Oh, you have to give me a name as well. Mine's gonna be Liz, just a heads up… and you can be crazy about characters in pairings, but you'd probably be on the opposite team as they are. And make sure you tell me your gender. Or what gender you want to be when you get sucked in. Either way.

I'm hoping you guys will all like this; I did something like this in my other fic. All the reviewers loved it. And don't worry… I'll probably be the first one in, and the rest of you will squish me when you suddenly appear. And no, I don't get magical author powers like my other fic.

So make sure you read everything here. If you haven't, go back up and read it again. I'm not going to start working on the next chapter until at least Sunday; I wouldn't, anyway, because my muse's birthday was yesterday and her party's tomorrow, and it's a sleepover, and then we're driving to Fresno to go to the Greenday concert on Saturday.

Oh! One last thing. Only people who have reviewed **BEFORE** this chapter, whom I have listed in review replies, are able to be in the story. If you are just reading the story now, I'm sorry, but you can't be in it. The only ones who are exempt from this rule are SpontaneousCombustion, Silver Horror, and Chibi Jak. They have this story on their favorites list and/or alert list.

Once again… **E-MAIL ME** if you want to take part. You have three days to do so. This is the only warning I'm giving you.

-animedragongirl


	9. Newbies

Everyone read my author's note at the end! Yeah! Do it again, I gots a character directory there.

**Red Mage 04**- Well… yes, it's a dead guy. He comes back from hell. Just goes to show what you can do when you put your mind to it.

**Meowen**- Hope you likee!

**CursedAvenger**- This is what happens next! Yeah!

**Afeenaninganing**- No! HUGS! GAH! (melts)

**LunarSquirrel**- You are indecisive! WHOot!

**SpontaneousCombustion**- If your e-mail starts working soon, I'll add you to the story anyway. This is fun! And tiring!

**Jaklover123**- Send it in soon, and I'll let you still be in the story!

**Mr. Light Chicken Bulbs**- You're in!

**The Desperado**- Well, our deal has been done, hope you like it!

Sorry this wasn't up yesterday, I tried to work on it, but I BLAME MY MUSEY! (points to musey)

* * *

9. Newbies

Jak was getting impatient. The three unconscious idiots on the ground were still unconscious, and didn't show any signs of returning to the living anytime soon. Besides, he wanted to annoy "Ol' Greenie," as Daxter so lovingly put it.

Finally, after what seemed like a million years(two minutes), Ashelin stirred.

And then they all woke up.

"What happened?" Jynx asked rather groggily.

Keira smiled sweetly. "You all passed out when I called Razor Ra-" And at that point, Jak hastily covered her mouth. He didn't want them to pass out again.

Crack. "AHHHHHH!"

Fat chance of them staying awake. Torn was lying in a dazed heap as a short brown-haired elf sat up dizzily. She was wearing a black shirt with "Greenday" printed on it, and a dogtag with a grenade in the shape of a heart… and she was carrying a huge book.

BANG. An ottsel with blondish fur was sitting on top of her, wearing denim pants and another shirt like the former's.

"What the HELL?" shrieked the rodent. Well, all of them.

CRACK. This time, everyone looked up in time to see a large black cloud spit out someone else- what looked like a gothic punk rocker. Of course, Jak and co. didn't know what a gothic punk rocker was. But who cares?

This process was repeated… five more times, until there was a group of people and ottsels standing around and looking extremely confused.

"Who the hell are you?" Jak yelled to them all. One of the ottsels squealed.

"It's Jak!" she shrieked, and glomped him with glee. Jak was knocked to the ground. And then the ottsel turned on Torn and did the same thing.

"GET THE HELL OFF ME!" Torn yelled, and pulled the little rat off him. Her eyes were impressive, glints of chestnut, blue, and emerald green, completely ruined by the pink shorts and white tank top covering her golden-brown fur. That, and she looked like an idiot.

Ashelin stormed up, rather pissed. But, she was stopped by Razor… who was acting rather out of character.

"Hey," he protested. "She's funny!"

"Yeah," Daxter agreed. "She pisses Torn off!"

Ashelin looked rather amused by the comments. She backed off.

"Okay," said the girl that first appeared. "This is really creepy. Please tell me I'm not in Haven city!"

The punk rocker girl, outfit complete with a plain black shirt, dark jeans, denim jacket saying "Boy Band Reject" and black boots looked around. "Sorry," she drawled in an amused voice as she tossed her blondish-brown hair. "I think we are!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" wailed Greenday shirt. "I've become a Mary Sue!" She started sobbing melodramatically.

"Okay, who are you guys anyway?" Jak snapped disgustedly. A girl with short ears looked at him blankly.

"We're Mary Sues," she said.

Jak started banging his head against the wall.

"Well I don't know about these people," a tall teenage boy with what looked like a beard-ish goatee started, staring in particular at the punk rocker girl's figure, "but my name is, 'The Desperado.' But you guys can call me Desperado!"

"I'm Sarea," punk rocker offered with puppy-dog blue eyes and waving black, fingerless gloves.

"Grus!" cheered a girl with a hood and goggles. She had a little glowing muse following her.

Squeak. Squeak.

Everyone looked around. "Where's that squeaky noise coming from?" Keira asked curiously.

Squeak. SQUEAK. It was coming from the ceiling. They all looked up.

"Okay…" said the blondish ottsel. "What is a broom doing on the ceiling?"

"Ooooooo!" squealed Grus. "I can use it to sweep my room!" And then she jumped up on the ceiling… somehow… and ripped the broom off it. The broom squealed shrilly, and kicked the bucket… in this chapter… yeah.

And then there was another ottsel… with light-brown fur. He squeaked in terror as Jak looked at him, and jumped behind the still-sobbing-melodramatically greenday girl.

"What's wrong with you?" Jak snarled.

"EEEEE! Evil Jak! I'm gonna die! NOOOOOOOOO!" the ottsel squealed.

Little question marks floated in the air above everyone's heads. Greenday stopped sobbing, and just stared at him.

"Eheh…" the ottsel said. "Eh, my name is, uh, Cir. Yeah, Cir."

"Hi Cir," everyone said in a dull monotone.

The blondish ottsel blinked. "It's my turn?" she asked surprisedly.

Jynx rolled his eyes.

"OKAY!" the ottsel yelled. She jumped up and landed in a heroic pose. "MY NAME IS ANDREA!"

"I don't think anyone besides us get that," greenday said pointedly.

Andrea pouted. Life was SO unfair.

"Yeah, it's me turn!" cheered the pink shorts ottsel. "My name is EMI!"

"AHHHHHHHHH!" greenday yelled. "They're multiplying! MY SISTER IS EVERYWHERE I GO! SAVE ME!" She covered her head and started shaking.

"…huh?" Emi said. Andrea sighed.

"Calm DOWN Liz," she began slowly, waving her arms for effect. "Emily is NOT here. She is NOT multiplying."

Liz shuddered, and still looked terrified. She looked at Andrea with mistrust. "Are you sure?" she asked suspiciously.

Andrea mentally groaned. "Yes!"

"Okay then!" Liz said cheerfully, all traces of past emotions gone. She jumped up and promptly walked into the same pipe Sig had. She ended up back on the floor.

Jak poked her with his morph-gun, saying, "You seem to be extremely stupi-" and was promptly whacked with Liz's book.

She stood over him, looking extremely pissed. "I am not stupid," she informed him snobbishly. "I'm just really crazy."

"I can tell," Torn muttered to Jynx, as Liz continued to lecture Jak, whacking him every so often for emphasis.

The rest of the cast was ready to explode with laughter at the spectacle, but the look in Jak's eyes promised instant death for the unlucky person to do so.

Desperado slowly inched over to Keira…

"Ah!" squeaked Keira as he groped her butt. She slapped him. Jak was ready to kill him in the instant- except for the fact he was still being lectured by Liz, whic meant hewas still on the floor.He finally kicked her away, and started chasing Desperado. Liz landed next to Torn and Jynx.

"Is he always this temperamental?" she asked the two men- well, ottsel and man. Who were, as it would be, laughing their heads off at the predicament Desperado got his self and his perverted ways into.

"Yes," gasped Jynx as he fell off the bar. Torn just banged his hand against the counter as he struggled for control.

* * *

A/n- I thought I'd end it right here; make you guess what's gonna happen next. So these are all the new characters; I'll make a list so you know who they are.

Meowen- Grus

Mr. Light Chicken Bulbs- Cir

Afeenaninganing- my sister (no, just kidding. We all call her Emi, though, so you can see why I did what I did.) EMI

CursedAvenger- Sarea

LunarSquirrel- broom on ceiling

The Desperado- Desperado

Musey- Andrea

Me- Liz(greenday)

Okay, before you get on my case about Desperado, let me explain. We made a deal. I said he had to be a pervert in order to join, and so, here it is.

Okay peoples! I have the pics of Jynx and Razor up on Deviantart; there are links on my profile. If the links don't work, never fear, my homepage is my account on Deviantart, so just go there. Scroll down a little and you'll see Razor's preview image.

The Greenday concert was awesome! This really funny thing happened, too, they were putting this band together on the stage, and the guy they chose for the guitarist went up and kissed Billie Joe ON THE LIPS. It was gross! And funny!

-animedragongirl


	10. Voodoo dolls and squeal time

You know what really sucks? While I was in the middle of writing the replies, we had a power outage and they weren't saved. I'm lucky that I already saved the rest of the story before I moved on to this part.

AS OF TODAY, I HAVE 57 REVIEWS!

**Red Mage 04**- Veger bashing shall indeed ensue, and next chapter I shall have a ghost wandering around! Yay!

**BlackRatchet**- Glad you like my story; I can only write humor. The one time I wrote a serious story, no one reviewed. But then, it was Naruto/Gaara.

**The Desperado**- This is, of course, what we all do next. Yay for insanity!

**Meowen**- You get to stalk a chicken with a blowtorch! Yay!

**GoodMorningBeautiful2005**- Sorry, this probably isn't fast updating for you… I have to go check your chapter to see the changes you made to it.

**LunarSquirrel**- Not in this chapter you aren't!

**Afeenaninganing**- SQUEAL SQUEAL SQUEAL!

**Mr. Light Chicken Bulbs**- Glad it's just the way you like it X3

**CursedAvenger**- Here ya goez, hope you likz Don't worry, I take no offense, and I would love fanart! Also, the whole purpose of the story is to make all the characters look as stupid as possible- I have various mood swings throughout it. Or at least I plan to. And I have them in real life, too. Not much of the rebellious stuff anymore, though… I'm not in sixth grade anymore, thank the non-existent Lord.(I'm Atheistic)

**Jaklover123**- This is the whole point! But if you don't want too, I won't force you.

**GAARA IS SO CUTE X3 I LUFF HIM!**

* * *

10. Voodoo dolls and squeal time 

Okay. Somehow they were divided into teams. I don't know- wait, I just can't remember why. They had a fight or something.

"Alright," Torn said. "Let's make the voodoo doll and have some fun!"

"Oooooooo, voodoo dolls?" squealed Emi. "Those are so fun! Can I make it? Huh? Huh? Huh?"

Keira and Tess laughed at the ottsel's antics. They thought she was hilarious. Jynx thought she was crazy(like Liz and Andrea), and Razor thought she was cute. **OH MY GOD, WE'VE GOT FLUFF ALERT! SQUEAL TIME!1!11!1!1!111!**

Torn sighed in almost unison with Jak. They had been saddled with Emi, Grus, and Sarea, though Grus was still carrying around that broom that was nailed to the ceiling. At least IT didn't talk… or squeal… or seem to care at all. It was just a broom, right?

BANG!

"Whoops!" said the former broom. It looked like a chicken now.

"CHICKEN!" shrieked Grus. She tried to catch it, and did a face plant into the floor. The chicken started running around the room.

Daxter was working quietly in the corner.

OH MY GOD! WHO IS HE, AND WHAT DID HE DO WITH DAXTER? Jak's mind managed to scream. Of course, no one heard.

"Hey, look!" Daxter yelled about two seconds later. "I made it!"

Everyone stopped whatever they were doing, and looked at the perfect replica of Samos he was holding.

"Oooooooo," Grus said.

"How did you get so good at making these things?" Jak asked curiously. Daxter scuffed his foot on the ground and looked shiftily to the side.

"Ummm… practiced on you and Ashelin?"

"WHAT THE HELL?"

"Eheh… in the Wasteland… after you defeated CyberErrol…"

Now- hey! Look at Daxter! He's got an angry mob of people after him!

* * *

"Okay," Jak said, holding up the doll to show the room. "Who has an idea as to what we want to do to Samos?" 

"Oooo! Oooo, me! Pick me!" squealed the chicken.

Jak sighed. "Alright," he said.

"Let's make him STEP ON A PLANT! It would make him feel really bad!" the chicken squawked.

"Hey, that's not bad!" Jynx said approvingly.

"It isn't," Ashelin said.

Grus was still stalking it. The chicken I mean. She was going to try to kill it with her blowtorch.

Emi had a different idea, though.

"Hey!" the rodent yelled. "Let's… um… nevermind."

I take that back. She didn't.

Jak sighed at the idiocy of his… "team". "Okay. Who's up for the stepping on the plant thing?" he asked.

Choruses of "mes" and "ayes" rang throughout the room. The stupidity was imminent.

* * *

Poor, poor Samos. A bunch of random people had turned up at his house for no reason whatsoever. 

"Hey! It's the ol' grampa guy!" yelled Andrea. Everyone but Liz winced.

"How can you stand her?" Desperado asked, attempting to clear the ringing from his hearing by sticking a finger in his ear and wiggling it.

Liz shrugged. "I'm so used to using headphones at abnormally high volume that it doesn't bother me anymore," she informed him dryly.

Cir shuddered. "Man," he informed Liz. "I don't know how you do it, and I don't want to." He was referring to Andrea, not the headphones.

Samos glared at them. "I don't know who you are or where you're from, but you had better get out of my house!" he yelled frustratedly.

Andrea tittered. "He's funny," she giggled to Liz.

Samos' face rapidly switched from flushed to purple. "GET OUT!" he roared.

Again, Desperado and Cir flinched. Abruptly, Samos took a great, sliding step to the right.

He looked down at his feet. "Huh?" he said.

He took another sliding step, this time to the left; then he pirouetted and landed on one of the numerous potted plants around in his house. It was instantly squashed.

Samos looked horrified. "NO!" he cried.

He took another leap and landed on another plant, squishing it out of existence. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Cir, Andrea(who was on Liz's shoulder), Liz, and Desperado watched with mild interest as Samos continued to fly around the room, flattening every plant in the vicinity. When that was finished, he moved on to his room.

Squish. "NO!" Squish. "NOO!" Crunch. "NOOO!" Squash. He just started sobbing now.

After he had finished with the house, he started hopping toward the Forest. He hopped out of sight.

"That was interesting," Desperado said. He stared at the direction Samos had taken. He was holding a compass. Get it?

Liz and Andrea stared with their mouths open; and burst into laughter.

"Oh my God!" gasped Andrea. "I… can't… breathe!" Liz just laughed. Desperado and Cir joined in. Then they all simultaneously stopped.

"That was… weird." Desperado said in the awkward silence.

So they all fell asleep.

* * *

A/n- And Samos was never seen again… no, just kidding. 

Sorry I haven't updated in a while! Don't kill me! The dummy I'm working on to fool you all isn't ready yet!

Okay, I was really, really busy… and I also became re-obsessed with Naruto because I thought my favorite character was dead… but he's not! Yay! And I found pictures of him from the second season… and now I'm a fangirl… actually I always was, but that's not the point.

Point is, I was really, really, really, really busy. Saturday I was at a friends house(I slept in till 11), and Sunday I was carving pumpkins. We were doing it with guests, so get off my case.

Anyhoo… I also edited a couple of things. Which reminds me.

**I COMMAND ALL OF YOU TO READ RED MAGE 04'S RISEN DEMON! AND THEN YOU CAN READ HIS SEQUAL, WAR OF THE ANCIENTS!**

You have never known good fiction till you read them And I edit the second one, and I edited the last seven or so chapters of the first. So I would know.

-animedragongirl


	11. AH! ERROL! WHAT THE HELL?

Wow… I have 70 reviews! And it's only been ten chapters! My other crack fic has 81, and it has twenty two chapters! OMG, I LOVE YOU ALL!

**The Desperado**- You get to do what you do best in here… (gets perverted mental images)

**Red Mage 04**- Just one ghost… and I thought that would explain why Daxter looks up, and then grins evilly at the end… and here's the "hell to pay," as you so accurately put it.

**Cursed Avenger1**-Don't worry about the drawers block!

**GoodMorningBeautiful2005**- I'll check that document as soon as possible!

**Meowen**- Heh… Aren't they great?

**Afeenaninganing**- Well… I wouldn't do anything as drastic as that… and you'll hug me to death after this chapter.

**LunarSquirrel**- Don't worry, you won't get roasted… yet.

**Silver Horror**- Funny funny Daxter. The truth is out!

**Jaklover123**- Well… it was Samos because you could reason that everyone would want to get him. I mean, think about it! Jak and Daxter- he's a grumpy old man. Keira- she wants to prank her father. Torn- because… he gave him a lot of annoying orders? Ashelin- maybe he criticized her! Tess- just random thoughts, and all the rest of them, because they wanted to. And I guess they made a voodoo doll model of his apartment/house.

**BlackRatchet**- Well, I updated. Is this okay?

**Farr2rich**- Is that referring to me being a woman? I'm taking it as a compliment!

And everyone, this is my first flamer. EVERYONE READ THE REPLY I GIVE HIM/HER! (but first read the flame, otherwise it won't make sense)

**Like I'd tell you**- I can see why you'd not tell me your name; you just pissed me off. And sent me straight into a mood of depression. I appreciate constructive criticism, but unless you know how to write a crack fic, I suggest you keep your ideas on how to to yourself. A crack fic isn't supposed to have a plot. And a crack fic is supposed to entertain the readers. Since my reviewers and the ones who put this story on their favorites list are the only ones who show the definitively care about this story, I write something that appeals to them. They all tell me they love the story, and since most of them have more than recently chatted/contacted me in some way, I'm more inclined to believe them. Thank you for telling me you hated this story.

Wow… I wrote four pages of story this time! And with all the review comments and author's note, it's a total of SEVEN PAGES!

* * *

11. AH! ERROL! WHAT THE HELL? 

"Okay peoples," Liz said to the assembled audience(which, coincidentally, contained Damas, Kleiver, Pecker, Onin, Sig, and Kleiver's little sidekick, Veger). "Jak and his crazy compadres, also known as the Governor, her boyfriend, two annoying ottsels, Jak's girlfriend, two more annoying ottsels, and various assorted random Mary Sues-"

"Self-inserts!" interjected Andrea.

"-and Marty Stues," Liz went on blithely, "have emotionally damaged your acquaintance, Samos the green eco sage."

By this time, everyone except the Mary Sues and Marty Stues- ahem, SELF INSERTS- were asleep. Andrea sighed.

"They made him jump on plants."

_Chirp. Chiiiiiiiiirp._

"Ummm… they destroyed beer!"

"WHAT THE HELL!" they all yelled in unison, as they bolted upright.

* * *

"So..." Damas said slowly. "What exactly are we doing?" 

"…we don't know yet." Sig said, and turned into a gloomy looking llama.

A lightbulb popped on over Liz's head. "I know!" she yelled.

"What?" asked Pecker.

"We're Mary Sues and Marty Stues, right?" Liz said, grinning evilly.

"Yes…" said all the game characters.

"No…" said all the self inserts (cough MARY SUES AND MARTY STUES cough).

Liz ignored them. "Well then. Let's just tie them up, and somehow get a bunch of fangirls and fanboys! That should terrify them enough."

"You can just leave Desperado with the girls," observed a voice from behind them all.

Everyone spun around, except for Andrea, who was snoring on Liz's shoulder. A white glowing person was floating a foot above the ground.

"Hey!" Cir said. "It's Errol!" And indeed it was.

Errol blinked. "Yeah, so?" he said, sounding annoyed.

Pecker gaped at him. Onin had a similar expression, except she was gaping at the wall to the left of Errol.

"You're DEAD!" Veger said faintly, and fainted. He is _such_ a coward. EVERYONE SPIT ON VEGER! (Is seen at the head of a crowd of Jak fangirls and Veger bashers, all of whom want to kill Veger)

Errol blinked again.

"Hi Captain Obvious!" Liz said cheerfully, and waved to the unconscious form of Veger.

Okay. Now _everyone_ blinked.

"Right…" Errol said.

"Hey! Person I don't know! If you're dead, why are you walking around looking like a ghost?" Damas asked. He seems kinda… clueless, doesn't he?

Errol rolled his eyes. "I_ am _a ghost, you idiotic fucking bastardic(1) son of a bitch!"

(That was fun to type!)

"But you're dead!" Pecker yelled, for once completely out of it.

"…and why wouldn't I be?" Errol said, a little confused. Liz kicked Pecker.

"You're here to try to kill Jak, right?" she asked.

"Yeah," he replied diffidently. "The boss wants him down wi' the rest of us."

" 'The boss'?" asked Kleiver.

"The Devil!" Liz and Errol snapped in unison at him. Sig hiccupped and turned into a llama.

"Okay then… why does he want Jak 'down there'?" the fat mechanic continued.

"Because Jak would make a good right hand person, or so he says," Errol replied, and yawned with the bored air of one who really doesn't give a damn.

The llama's eyes glazed over as it considered this new possibility. Actually, everyone's eyes did, not just the llama's.

"So… you're here to bug Jak to death?" Liz correctly summarized.

"Yep," he said.

"Well… in that case…" Liz said as she got an evil grin on her face.

* * *

It was very, very late at the Naughty Ottsel. Everyone was either drunk or asleep. 

A bunch of dark shapes slowly came in through the front door. A creak split the silence.

"Shut up!" hissed Andrea to the unfortunate Cir. "Or else… Jak will wake up!" That, of course, terrified Cir. He squeaked and jumped ten feet in the air.

The entire group was stupidly attired in black. They were also acting like ninjas.

Damas jumped, and landed doing a stupid ninja move. Andrea rolled her eyes. So did everyone else.

"Whatever," grumbled Errol. He had managed to make himself look more like grey-ish smoke than white-ish smoke.

So… they all tied up everyone… except they kept waking up. So, eventually, they just decided to knock everybody out. This, of course, caused a _huge_ problem, as everyone kept ripping over the unconscious peoples laying on the ground.

After a long long time, which was in reality only ten minutes, they had everyone on Jak's team in separate rooms/places of the Naughty Ottsel, they stopped to rest a bit.

"Can we just kill Tron?" Andrea said. "Hey, I just said his name wrong!" And then a minute later, "_Hey!_ That'll annoy him! Tron, Tron, Tron, Tron…"

And them came the inevitable:

"Who's Tron?" asked Damas.

Everyone(except Errol, who could only try and not succeed) proceeded to bang their heads against the wall.

* * *

Jak groaned. "Uuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhhhh," he said. He thought that either he'd become very drunk, and this was the result, or that he'd fallen down the stairs again. 

Actually, he fell down the stairs again. Samos' team didn't have to knock him out.

"Well, well, the eco freak wakes up again," a nastily familiar voice said.

Jak opened one eye and glared at Errol. "I killed you. _Twice._ WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STILL ALIVE!"

"Well, right now I'm here to bug you to death while you proceed to get mauled by fangirls," Errol said coolly.

"He's not dead- I mean alive," a squeaky voice said. "He's just a little ghost walking around to drag you into hell."

"That's oh so comforting," Jak snapped at the squeaky voice, which turned out to be Andrea.

"Alright, he's awake!" she yelled through the door. "Bring in the fangirls!"

What were these fangirls everyone was talking about?

And then…

"OMIGOD!" squealed about a hundred high-pitched voices. The sound of a stampede echoed through the hall.

And then…

Through the door came the LARGEST, SCARIEST, most HIDIOUSLY TERRIFYING sight you could ever imagine.

It was a horde of screaming fangirls.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" came the agonized shriek.

**

* * *

**

Unfortunately for the others, everyone else on Jak's team(except for the Mary Sues), they all found themselves in similar predicaments. The only ones who enjoyed it even remotely was Daxter and Jynx; however, their opinions changed very quickly when the fangirls began to, er, _take liberties_ with the two. Namely- well, I'm not going to tell you, but you can certainly get your minds out of the gutter.

Tess had a bunch of screaming fanottsels(boys, fortunately) who all drooled over her.

Torn was able to appreciate how normal Ashelin was.

Razor missed his little Mary Sue girlfriend(coughEmicough).

And Ashelin and Keira were tied up in a room with Desperado on the loose…

And as for the Mary Sues?

"I've really got to pee," the chicken said.

Grus whimpered. "I want coffee!"

They were all somehow stuck to the roof; more precisely, the sign of the ottsel.

And thus, Samos' team got revenge for Jak's team destroying beer- ahem, mentally disturbing Samos.

* * *

A/n- I think this was posted sooner… I'm not sure. 

(1)- I'm not sure if this is even a word, but oh well, it was fun to write!

Yes, I had some major no-no words in there. But this is Errol. And I spell his name with two 'r's because it looks cooler.

I was listening to Greenday's "Minority" this time; "Down with the moral majority!" Yeah!

Can you tell I'm getting stupider and stupider?

JAK X CAME OUT TODAY!

I have not played it yet, because my friend got grounded and can't play. She is also known as the ottsel Andrea. And my musey. But she is still my friend, so don't worry!

Plus, a couple days ago I got mobbed by the goth table… I drew a picture of Greenday anime style, and (rather stupidly) showed it to my friend… who is a goth… and we were by the goth table. I made fifteen copies, and I have three left over.

-animedragongirl


	12. Newspapers

I have 79 reviews. (smiles evilly) **WHOEVER IS MY 80TH REVIEWER SHALL HAVE ANYTHING THEY DESIRE FROM ME! (within reason… and keep in mind I'm only 13, too.)**

**Red Mage 04- **…yeah, what _do_ you call Revenge of the Sith?

ADG: Good Kage! (pats Kage on head)

Kage: …would you please cease now?

ADG: (snatches hand back)

**Cursed Avenger1-** May I borrow your flame-thrower? I have a lot of spiders in my house…

**The Desperado-** You're a perverted creep! Hahahahahahahahaha!

**GoodMorningBeautiful2005-** You're welcome. I feel sorry for you, I hate Geometery, too.

**LunarSquirrel-** Tron, Tron, Tron…

**Meowen-** Glad you think so! Grus likes coffee in this chapter… she's probably going to spend all of the next in the bathroom.

**Afeenaninganing-** No! Funny character is dying! BWAH! (blocks Rayne, then throws her three hundred miles away) You get some fluffuff!

**BlackRatchet-** Actually, no, I'm not. Sorry. Right now I'm on a brain overload and possible implode from all the work we're doing in school, and I don't think I'd be able to put someone else in- plus, if you read the notice, you had to have reviewed before that chapter to be in. As I said, Desperado got in because we cut a deal.

**Farr2rich-** (Lifts frying pan) Hmm, I prefer heavy books, as they don't permanently damage people, but this works too!

* * *

12. Newspapers 

"Never again," rasped Jak. "Never again do I want to see another damned fangirl."

Torn, Jynx, Razor and Daxter all nodded. And all five ottsels/men/angry teens looked awful. Their clothes had bits and pieces cut out of them, their hair/fur had been cut, and they were cut and bruised from all the rabid fangirls.

Keira and Ashelin actually weren't off too bad, they just had a lot of drool on them.

Tess had been carried around on the shoulders of rabid fanottsels. She was okay, but looked slightly dazed from when they had dropped her down a couple of flights of stairs.

The Mary Sues-

"SELF INSERTS!"

-were okay; the chicken had managed to hold it until Jak and Torn had finally been able to get them down. She was currently in the bathroom. Emi was sitting next to Razor, assuring him that no more fangirls were around. Sarea was lounging on a booth seat. She hadn't really cared at all when Samos' team had tied her to the sign. She was humming an evil-sounding song and playing with the zippers on her coat. Grus was raiding the kitchen for any and all coffee.

"You know what we should do?" Razor said suddenly. "I think we should take over Haven Enquirer!"

"You idiot!" Daxter snapped. He threw an empty beer bottle at the shadowy ottsel, and was instantly beset upon by Razor's hyperactive girlfriend.

A slow smile spread across Torn's face. And it had nothing to do with what just happened to Razor. Jak and Jynx were terrified by it.

"Uh oh…" Jynx said.

"That's a great idea Razor," Torn said, the crazed grin on his face. Apparently, the damage the fangirls had done was far more than skin deep.

Ashelin, who had been eavesdropping on their (somewhat lacking) conversation looked puzzled- then her face cleared and sported a demonic grin identical to the one on Torn's. "I do believe you are right!" she cackled elatedly.

Jak and Jynx realized the significance at the same time; Keira understood a moment later. The Mary Sues-

"SELF INSERTS!"

-were ready and willing, and Tess was still dazed. Daxter was just too stupid.

* * *

The next day, a shocking newspaper was seen around Haven City. The articles were listed as: 

**The Seer And Her Bird: A Load Of Crap! pg.1**

**Sand King: Stupid Things You Never Knew! pg.2**

**A Perverted Stalker In Our Midst! pg.3 **

**Sig: How He Blew One Hell Of An Image! pg. 4**

**Kleiver, Mechanic Of Spargus: Under His Clothes! Contains Shocking Images, Not Suitable For Children Under 15 pg. 5**

**The Green Eco Sage: How Stupid He Really Is! pg. 6**

**Crazed Lunatics On The Loose! pg.7**

**Cir: A Dark Maker! pg.8 **

**HOLY CRAP! A GHOST! pg.9**

* * *

**The Seer And Her Bird: A Load Of Crap!**

_News just out- Onin the once powerful Seer is not a Seer at all- she has no power at all!_

_Confidential sources confirm that this blind old woman is a crackpot! Says one source: 'She never helped me at all, and her advice was terrible!' A second source relates that the annoying pet that continually follows is really "an idiotic moron!" _

_Ms. Onin was unable for comment having recently been evicted from her residence, but miscellaneous notes found scattered around the once grand tent-thingie suggest that her clever guise is really a sham!_

_A as yet unknown woman says that although Ms. Onin was a disgusting old bag, she was always 'rather fond' of the decrepit old toad._

_(con. on pg.10)_

* * *

**Sand King: Stupid Things You Never Knew!**

_The Sand King of Spargus city is an idiot! A retarded freak! A sardonic bastard! A creep! Jak's father! And many many other things!_

_He has an I.Q. of a grand total of 10! Oh, he can speak intelligently enough, but he learns it all by the process of memorization! Just how this mentally-challenged man became King of the Wasteland is unknown, but many small clues we picked up completely by accident and several movies we got in a completely lawful way point to Damas as a one month old in a something or other's old body!_

'_He's mental!" one source claims. A second says that "while I've known him for a while, I must truthfully say he is nothing more than your newborn kid born already grown! He's so stupid, he cant_

_(con. on pg. 10)_

* * *

**A Perverted Stalker In Our Midst!**

_Teen named Desperado is really a perverted creep!_

_This person mysteriously appeared out of nowhere from an unknown location; information points to him being a 'Marty Stew', whatever this means. Six feet tall, well built, and a glamorous single hoop in one ear, he's enough to make any woman fall in a swoon. However, what you don't know is that he's a sex-crazed hormone-driven dog in heet! _

_One victim of this terrible man sobbingly reports, "He felt me up, laughing, even when I told him to stop! Though he was quite good… But it was so terrible!" The source collapsed crying hysterically, and could not continue questioning._

_Another unfortunate encounteress of this teen reports, "He prostrated himself to me, and sayed I was a Sex Goddess_

_(con. on pg. 11)_

* * *

**Sig: How He Blew One Hell Of An Image!**

_The wild gun-slinging peacemaker-wielding wastelander residing in Haven blew one hell of an image- instead of being the big fearsome warrior we think of, he is actually a warm-milk-before-bedtime 'Poopsey'-bear-cuddler! _

_This shocking information was revealed to us by none other than Daxter, diminutive rodent, annoying bastard, and sidekick to Jak Mar. _

_"I was just standing there, and he was railing about his 'Poopsey bear' and the 'warm glass of milk' his mother used to bring him. I was like, 'Whoa, you just blew an image there, buddy!" _

_(con. on pg.11)_

* * *

**Kleiver, Mechanic Of Spargus: Under His Clothes! Contains Shocking Images, Not Suitable For Children Under 15**

_As everyone knows, Kleiver is the infamous mechanic of Spargus, equal only to our own prodigy, Keira Hagai girlfriend to Jak Mar._

_What no one knows is what's under his clothes!_

_Unbenownst by many people, this particular man has a BIG problem- almost no bladder! To counter this HUGE problem, he wheres a HUGE diaper!_

_You herd us right. A HUGE DIAPER!_

(to the right is an up close picture of Kleiver's butt with the diaper showing)

_A annonomus source claims he changes it at least three times a day- which must be absolutely terrible for such a hard fighter. A few of his comrades say that they have been on various missions with them, when he has disappeared mysteriously, returning several minutes later._

_(con. on pg.11)_

* * *

**The Green Eco Sage: How Stupid He Really Is!**

_Everyone knows the grand eco sage Samos. Right? He helped the Underground achieve freedom and overthrow the Baron._

_But all his 'sagely' wisdom comes to naught- he once told someone to go boil all his clothes to get rid of lice! Stupid, huh?_

_And know he is even worse. Emotionally disturbed by a unknown accident, he is now living in his apartment with several people to make sure he does not harm himself. When his daughter was questioned, she reports that she had "no recollection" of this incident. Furthermore, she states that she will "love him until I'm dead'._

_However, several sources will be glad to see the old bag of bones gone for good. Reports another, "I'll be glad_

_(con. on pg.11) _

* * *

**Crazed Lunatics On The Loose!**

_Warning! Two crazed lunatics are on the loose!_

_One claims to be a 'Marry Sue", while the other says they are both "self inserts'. Both are wearing black shirts with strange, heart-shaped objects and white writing that reads "Greenday' in capital letters. One is elvish, the other is a strange rodent._

_Anyone who spots these two delinquents are strongly recommended not to go near them._

* * *

**Cir: A Dark Maker!**

_A strange rat was reported to have been seen wandering the city who goes by the name of "Cir"._

_STAY AWAY FROM THIS MADMAN! HE IS A DARK MAKER! I REPEAT, A DARK MAKER! _

_If you happen to see this person, you are cautioned not to approach them. You have been warned._

_You can now go back to your meaningless lives as you wander the streets and dive for cover whenever a rougue zoomer flies by. _

* * *

**HOLY CRAP! A GHOST!**

_Terrified random people have reported a equally terrifying sight- Errols ghost!_

_That's right. The sadistic tyrant commander of the Krimson Guard is back from the pit filled with fire and brimstone! And he's here on orders from the devil himself- to bug Jak Mar to death!_

"_It's true," Jak said. "He just sat there, looking all evil and sadistic… I almost died just seeing him there."_

_At this point, Jaks loyal girlfriend Keira Hagai rushed over and started to sympathize with the awesome hunk who helped save this city_

_(con. on pg.12)_

* * *

"They do realize how stupid this is," commented Liz. "They have so many mistakes, I want to throttle them just for not doing anything right." 

"Only an editor would say something like that," Pecker said dryly.

"You idiot, she _is_ an editor." Snapped Andrea at the bird's stupidity. Or ignorance. It could be both.

* * *

A/n- Muahahahahahaha! Hope this drives insanity to the edge! I listened to International Superhits three times in a row to get this done. I have major writer's block, you see. 

Yes. My hilariously stupid ideas are drying up… I need to talk to musey. And this was all non-existant until I remembered a headline someone wrote, _"_Michale/Michael/whatever Jackson and Prynne jimmie it off, and result is three-legged baby!_"_ or some other such nonsense. And we're reading The Scarlett Letter, just so you get this.

Uh-huh, if you have me on author alert, you'll know I reposted my old story The Journey to Freedom as Ramen and Sand. So far I have no reviews, but I do have two story alerts. And this is a NarutoGaara fanfic, which means yaoi, which means m/m. Just so you know, and yes, I am a yaoi fangirl, but I like perfectly straight couples too, so don't get all crazy on me. And if you have anything against gay stuff, I don't mind, but just don't go around in front of me saying that gay people defy God or something. It's like saying Jews killed Jesus. Two of my best friends are Jewish, I know a guy who's grandparents were killed in a concentration camp, and some of my friends at school are bi.

Okay… rant over. Sorry if I offended you. If you want to have an argument, Id love to, but do it over email please! Otherwise I'll go on and on and on.

Sorry for bothering all you peoples ;)

-animedragongirl

P.S.- If you send me corrected versions of these articles, I will reward you with cookies!


	13. Laxatives, Cookies, and Waterfalls

Wow… I have ten more reviews than my other crack fic.

**Everyone! I am proud to present… the eightieth reviewer…**

**Dean!**

**Dean-** I agree. I think they all suck! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

**Afeenaninganing-** Sorry you didn't make it… you were close, though!

**Red Mage 04-** I seem to make you happy with whatever I write. That makes me happy(smiles idiotically).

ADG: Oh, and Kage?

Kage: Yes?

ADG: Don't even try… nuh-uh… (brandishes book threateningly) Read what I did to the idiot I wrote about in my author's note! But if you do it… well… (cackles maniacally) Let's just say my friends would warn you if they could…

**LunarSquirrel- **It's kinda short… Hmmm…

**Mr. Light Chicken Bulbs-** Sorry, I forgot about that when I was writing this chapter. But it'll happen in the next one… I promise…

**Angel-Jak-Eyes-** Yeah, just goes to show Jak's team can't spell at all…

**Desperado-** I like the media touch, it suits you. Especially the part about the 'She said she was 18, I SWEAR!' part… heheheheh…

**Meowen- **Haha, watch the crazy coffee person… hahahaha…

**Like I'd Tell You- **Aw, don' worry about it. I get plenty pissed about personal stuff, too. You're forgiven!

**Everyone! The person who gave me my first roasted marshmallow- I mean, flame- is forgiven! She is no longer a public enemy! Everyone say hi!**

**EJ Amber- **Glad you like it! That's what I'm here for, to make you people happy!

**BlackRatchet-** Aww… you didn't like it? No! (starts sobbing melodramatically)

**SilverHorror-** Glad you think so!

**Jaklover123- **Ha, yes you were. I bet you were. I KNOW you were!

* * *

13. Laxatives, Cookies, and Waterfalls 

"Why are we selling cookies?" Pecker asked disgustedly. "We haven't sold a single one. Everyone is too scared to buy one because they all think they're poisoned."

Liz shot straight up. "That's it!" she crowed. "Poisoned cookies! Hahahahahahahaha!"

"What's it?" Andrea asked confusedly.

"Poisoned cookies… hahahahaha… laxatives… hahahahaha… waterfall marathon on TV…"

Andrea sighed.(Wow, she seems to be sighing in every chapter, doesn't she?) "Pack up the cookies Pecker, and let's go back to Samos' house. I think we have a prank to pull on Jak's team."

"Really?" Pecker said interestedly. "What is it?"

"You'll find out when we get there, stupid."

* * *

"… and so, that is my idea," Liz said to the assembled Samos' team. 

They were all rolling on the floor, laughing like maniacs.

"This'll be so worth it!" Damas shouted.

"Yeah! Yeah!" Kleiver said, laughing.

"Let's do it!" cheered Cir and Desperado.

"Aye!" everyone roared back at them.

* * *

Jak's team were sitting around, congratulating themselves on a prank well pulled. Then the doorbell rang. 

"I'll get it!" Daxter yelled. He opened the door, and who would know, there was a basket of cookies with a card saying, "For You!" The reverse said, "These cookies have not been poisoned, drugged, or harmed in any way."

Daxter grabbed the basket and happily skipped off to the rest of his team, stuffing a few cookies in his mouth on the way.

"Hey everyone!" he yelled, spraying a few thousand crumbs over Tess' nice, clean floor. Tess raised a frying pan threateningly. "Look, free cookies!"

"COOKIES!" shrieked Grus.

"Cookies?" Torn asked suspiciously.

"Cookies!" yelled Daxter.

Jak grabbed the basket. "Hey, look!" he said, pointing to a card previously unnoticed by Daxter. "It's the rules for eating them."

Daxter grabbed the card and read, "To eat these cookies, you have to eat a lot of them. Then you have to turn your TV on to channel ten and tie yourselves up so you can't move at all. An anonymous person will come and make sure you cannot move. Then you have to sit and watch the TV. You will know when to stop and start begging. That is all."

Jynx shrugged, which looked rather odd when he did it in ottsel form. "Sounds good to me!"

Torn nodded. "Me too!" he said, and grabbed a bunch of cookies.

* * *

"Oh, this is gonna be good," Damas said. "When Seem goes down there-" 

"BEER!" cheered Seem.

"-to check their bonds, and makes sure they're tight, I wanna go watch them!"

"Don't forget us!" protested Liz, surrounded by Desperado, Cir, Pecker, and Andrea.

"Hey, I'm gonna come," Errol said, interested despite himself.

"Yeah, me too," Kleiver said.

"Yeah!" cheered Veger.

"Okay, and we're taping it all, too, so we can put it on TV later on," Liz said, patting a recorder. "I got my sister to tape it for us. She should be here… any minute now…"

"BAM!" yelled an unidentified blonde from behind.

Everyone jumped two feet in the air, except for Errol, who floated two feet higher, and Liz, who was to used to her sister to notice.

"Hi Em!" she said brightly.

Andrea was, as the phrase goes, as white as a sheet. Well, as white as a blonde ottsel can be.

"My God… You haven't… scared me… so much, since… you walked into Liz's room wearing… only a towel!" she gasped, still white.

"Oh, Liz," Em said. "I have this really creepy letter for you that this random girl who claimed to know Andrea said to give me. Now where's the camera?"

Liz handed over the camera and stuffed the letter into her bag.

"Okay everyone," she said to everyone. "This is my evil maniacal sister who is a creepy evil person who knows how to video tape certain events. Now Seem, go check their ropes."

* * *

Seem walked into the Naughty Ottsel. "Beer," she cackled evilly. 

Everyone inside looked at her. "Are you the anonymous person here to make sure we can't move?" Jak asked.

Seem cackled again, and made sure everyone was tied as tightly as possible without suffocating anyone, and relieved anyone who had them (coughTornandAshelincough) of weapons. She then made her way to the random crates of beer and got drunk very, very fast.

"Hey! That's my… good stuff…" Daxter said, petering off as he began to sweat.

By the way, channel ten was a three-day long marathon of nothing but waterfalls.

So now everyone was sweating; the room was becoming a very sweaty place. Sweat World!

…Ewwwwwwwwww… sounds like the boys' locker room.

* * *

**Three seconds later:**

"I can't take it!" screamed Daxter. Well, so much for the "iron resolve" he claims to have. (This is entirely fictional, and thus, as I am giving no explanation whatsoever, must be marked as a plothole. Come join the plothole party! (Shows ADG at a party of all the people who all stupidly have plot holes)).

Jak was sweating. Who wasn't? "Is that so?"

"YES!" shrieked Daxter. "Seem! Let me go! Please!"

"AHA!" yelled Liz as she kicked the door open. "He's begging! Make him say it, quick, and then let him go!"

Andrea ran over to where Daxter was. "Quick!" she yelled in his ear, holding a tape recorder under his nose. "Say that you have no dignity and are a stupid idiot! And that you are a coward!"

"I'M A COWARD, HAVE NO RESOLVE, NO DIGNITY, AND I AM A STUPID IDIOT!"

Andrea grabbed one of the multiple knives Seem had confiscated from Torn and cut the ropes from Daxter. He rushed for the bathroom.

* * *

Let's just say… Jak's team refuses to speak of that day. They all had to say things they didn't want to in order to go to the bathroom.

* * *

A/n- Short, I know. I stole the idea from a different fic that hasn't been updated in several months, but made it incredibly stupid, because it was in what I call a "serious" fic. (A non-crack fic.) 

Then I combined it with an idea from chapter two of Random Tales!

And I now have two fishies named Naruto and Jeraiya. There was a Gaara, too, but he died :( I won them from my school carnival.

It is officially winter here, at least, so the kids think. Two days in a row that was so cold(for us, in Alaska it would be considered summer), I definitely need a new jacket. Or coat.

Oh, I found out the kid I have a crush on hates me, because of what I did to him last year. But then, last year I lent him a book with some of Edgar Allen Poe's works… and I asked him to return it for two weeks… then he refused to give it back, so I took to whacking him with whatever book I was reading; eh… I hit him with The MasterHarper of Pern so hard, I knocked him down.

Okay… stop looking at me like that…

Oh, he returned my book eventually.

And now to have some dinner. I have all the rest of tonight to continue writing. (It's eight over here!)

-animedragongirl


	14. HALLOWEEN SPECIAL!

**I HAVE 102 REVIEWS! I LOVE YOU ALL!**

**Red Mage 04-** You guys blinked… weird! (shudders) OMG! I made KAGE blink! AHHHHHH!

**The Desperado-** Hmm, not a bad idea!

**Like I'd Tell You- **You're welcome!

**Dean-** Hmm… okay, I'll see what I can do. Though I do kinda like beating him up…

**Jaklover123-** Well, a vacuum cleaner definitely is in this chapter…

**Afeenaninganing- **Eheh, back away slowly…

**Meowen- **Yeah! Praise! Praise in a Can!

**Cursed-Avenger1-** Hmm… I'm doing a lot of "hmms".

I'll see what I can come up with!

**BlackRatchet-** This might be earlier than when you expected… and you're a member now! Yay!

* * *

14. HALLOWEEN SPECIAL! 

The truce was signed… the rules made… the terms clearly specified…

…and now, they were all going to…

PARTY!

"WHOOHOO!" shrieked Daxter. He dove into a huge cauldron filled to the brim with candy. Emi, Andrea, and Liz were not far behind. "CANDY!" they all shrieked.

Jak's team gaped at the Naughty Ottsel. Well, those that weren't swimming around in a big pot of candy.

It had been transformed into a marvelous Halloween room. Orange and black streamers hung from the ceiling, corny posters were stapled to the walls, a fog machine was going, and there were creepy decorations everywhere, like the statues of Praxis and Errol that were glaring at everyone from the corners of the room.

"To bad I can't eat," Errol said wistfully, looking at the huge cauldrons scattered with candy, and the smaller ones with soda or beer and dried ice.

Liz waved a hand, and tried to speak through her mouthful of candy. "Ne'kw orers frm de' bosh," she said. "Oo 'et o eak chanee."

"Huh?"

Liz glowered at him, then swallowed her candy. "The boss said he'd send you a demonic spell that lets you eat food," she said.

There was a puff of red smoke. A little cherubic black devil said, "Delivery for Errol," and dropped a box on the floor. He disappeared in another puff of smoke.

A tic twitched in Errol's face. The stupid devil forgot he was a ghost here, and couldn't open things like that. So Liz obliged…

…and then he dove for the candy.

Cir was sitting, gazing off into space, and sipping from a cup of coke like he was a grand movie star. "You know, I've always wanted to be defined as a Dark Maker," he said dreamily.

……_chirp_……

"Okay…" Jak said.

"Did we _really_ need to know that?" Torn asked in a strangled voice.

Keira choked. Samos choked. Kleiver choked. Everyone but those stuffing their faces and Cir choked.

And then they all magically recovered and continued to party.

It lasted far, far, _far_ into the night. Someone ended up swinging around on the chandelier… probably Samos, and maybe Jak… and getting sick from all the candy and drinks(coughErrolcough). They had extremely loud music blaring all night, and several of the neighbors called the Freedom Guards to come tell these people to shut up(damn neighbors!)… but they eventually joined in as well, so it was of no consequence to our favorite partiers(Torn and Ashelin invited them).

Other people mysteriously appeared as well; Liz's sister, Jak Luver, Far Two Rich, Red Mage, Black Ratchet, Good Morning, and Dean. They either became extremely drunk, and/or acted extremely stupid… like the rest of us- I mean, them.

"COFFEE CANDY!" shrieked Grus.

"CINAMIN CANDY!" shrieked Liz.

"CANDY!" shrieked Sarea and Daxter.

"SUGARSUGARYDRINKYCANDY!" Good Morning screamed.

"YEAH!" they all yelled back.

"EAT IT ALL!" roared Andrea, waving handfuls of candy.

All the candy freaks(including a much larger Errol) dove in with a will.

And so, the rest of the night was spent in stupidity… and Halloween fun… and stupidity…

Oh, due to popular demand, Errol was indeed accidentally sucked into a random vacuum cleaner that blew up the front door. It left… considerably larger… to say the least. (On an other note, Jak was seen at a random vacuum control store...)

* * *

A/n- Short, but funny, heheheheheh. Here's the Halloween special! We all, including those who weren't in the story initially(I only did reviewers who reviewed within the last few chapters… sorry) are acting like idiots! 

Love ya all : )

-animedragongirl


	15. She's back!

Thank you all for the reviews! I love you guys, you're so awesome! Sorry, I can't reply, though, anymore... more info at the bottom.

* * *

15. She's back!

Liz shifted the heavy junk in her arms. She was, unfortunately, about to drop it. She kicked the door to the place she had strived to get to, and walked inside. It was one of the back rooms of the Naughty Ottsel. She walked more quickly to the very back, and dumped the junk on the floor behind a crate. Deciding it was not hidden well enough, she pulled a few more crates around it and picked up a couple, stacking them on the others. Satisfied, Liz looked around to make sure no one was there, and left.

* * *

Daxter eyed the heap of what he considered to be crap with a critical eye. He had found it behind a pile of crates in one of the storage rooms. It looked like a bunch of papers and miscellaneous rubbish. He lifted up a paper, and stared at it intently.

"Now, what in the hell?..." he said, surprise turning into evil calculation as he looked at the paper, and then at the billboard outside.

* * *

"I hid it successfully," Liz said cheerfully. "Mission complete!"

"Good!" Samos said.

"Where, exactly, did you hide what?" Andrea asked, walking into the room.

"A bunch of extremely embarrassing papers that belonged to Samos," Liz replied happily. "I also added a bunch of tapes of conversations on stupid things that happened to you, and I hid it all in a very secret, safe place."

"Where?" Andrea asked more insistently.

"A place no one will ever, ever look!"

"WHERE?" roared Andrea.

Liz cowered. "The back room of the Naughty Ottsel?..." she said meekly.

"WHAAAAAT?"

* * *

"I'm telling you, these are great! Let's use them!" Daxter declared as he strutted into the meeting room, aka the bar.

Torn and Jak stared at him. They were the only two there. "Huh?" Jak said confusedly.

Daxter waved his hands in the air impatiently. "Use _THEM_!" he said again, a bit more snappishly. "_These_, that I _found_, in the _back room_!"

"Will you just get to the point and tell us what the hell you're talking about?" Torn snapped angrily.

"Woohoo!" "Yeah!" "Get _on_ with it, girl!" "Hah, you got 'im now!" rudely interrupted Daxter at that moment. Jak looked upstairs.

"It's coming from the girls' room," he said, surprised.

"Girls' room? Did you, by chance, say, the _girls'_ room?" Daxter said instantly, a perverted grin sneaking its way on his face.

Jak and Torn just looked at each other. Then they rolled their eyes simultaneously.

It was rather amusing, actually.

The three made their way up to the room, and they peered in. More like, kicked the door open and charged in- well, Daxter charged in. Jak and Torn were the ones kicking down the door.

It was a sight they could not believe. It was a sight they _would _not believe. And it was incredibly terrifying. They promptly retreated, Daxter in tow.

They ended up hiding beneath the bar, shivering and sucking on their thumbs. (Wow, just had insanely hilarious mental image of little chibis of Torn, Jak, and Daxter, all sucking their thumbs and curled up under blankets!)

* * *

Eventually, they got up, and told the girls… and Jynx, and Razor… they were going to do something. Which they did. It used up a lot of posters, paper, and glue… and a few Hellcat cruisers with radios on at strangely high levels.

* * *

The whole group of Samos's team was walking along, happily minding their own happy business… when all of a sudden, Desperado nearly got run down by a Hellcat cruiser!

"WAAHHH!" Everyone yelled as they ducked.

Loud volume on the cruiser's radio blared out enough to hear, "…and then he said, 'I'm about to tell you my deepest, darkest secret. So he told me. And then, he…"

Liz and Andrea stared after the cruiser, while the rest of the group looked at them. "Well," Andrea said, turning to Liz, "you. Are. In. SO MUCH TROUBLE."

"Hey," Samos protested from a little farther ahead. "Look at this!" He was pointing to a huge, brilliantly colored poster. It had a picture of a much, much younger Samos, mooning the audience, or whomever was looking at the poster. It was also incredibly disturbing.

_Flash._ Click. "Haha!" a familiar, annoying, and known-all-too-well voice rang out. "Red handed! Whoohoo!"

Daxter was standing. All alone. At the edge of the. Street. Wow, periods are fun to use! PERIOD. PERIOD. I'm turning into a period frog!

Readers: …

Fanfiction guys: …

Characters of the story: …

Ahem, let's get back to the story now, shall we?

Anyway, by some huge coincidence, Daxter got closer, and closer, and closer…

Everyone: GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!

And then, suddenly, out-of-the-blue, unexpectedly, surprisingly, and without warning or prior notice, the huge poster fell, and knocked them all out.

Whump.

And that, my friends, is what happens when an author comes back from three weeks of no writing and uses a thesaurus. That, and very weak glue. Posters were now falling and trapping innocent (cough) citizens all over the city.

Ahem. I think this is the end.

…yep, no more to read.

…why are you still here?...

Oh, fine. Have it your way.

* * *

A/n- Unfortunately, as there is a stupid new rule, I am unable to post reviewer replies. I can reply to them, but sadly, not here. I'm afraid that I will have to go to each and every one of you to reply.

DAMN YOU FANFICTION DOT NET censored censored!

In cyberquest, for all those who want to know, we did not place. Though pretty much the entire team didn't care, as long as it was over, so it's no biggie. Plus I got free sodas after school every day!

…yeah. Hopefully now my crazy schedule thing will get back together.

BTW, the scary incident was Razor and Emi making out. She... requested it. With a chainsaw.

-animedragongirl


	16. TBOTP! LOL 11 1 1

Loved teh reviewies :)

* * *

16. TBOTP! LOL!11!1!1

It was decided.

The rules were drawn up…

The weapons baked according to plan…

The forts made…

The complying ally roped off…

Yes.

It was here.

THE BATTLE OF THE PIES WAS ABOUT TO BEGIN!

* * *

"Are you ready!" bellowed Daxter.

Keira screamed and slapped him. "Pervert!" she shrieked. "Get out of our dressing room!"

Jak burst into the room, gun at the ready. "What's wro- Ah!"

"AAAHHHHHHHH!"

Whump.

Two now very unconscious guys were thrown out the door, and the girls resumed dressing for…

THE BATTLE OF THE PIES!

Indeed, in two hours, the two sides would converge in a single alleyway, and then-

THE BATTLE OF THE PIES!

Author: (sweatdrop) Okay…

THE BATTLE OF THE PIES!

Author: Oh. Shit.

THE BATTLE OF THE PIES!

(hoards of people, characters, random civilians, the author's sister, a bunch of cheese-eating-chickens-with-seaweed-tied-to-their-feet-of-the-Sith, and a couple of cheesecakes run screaming for cover as the broken record plays in the background)

THE BATTLE OF THE PIES!

At this point, the author threw Gaara's gourd filled with its bloody sand at the record player.

THE… BATT-erk-LE… OF… -erk-… PIES… !

"Persistent bugger, ain't it?" the author said.

THE… BATT-erk-LE… OF… -erk-…

BOOM.

And that was the end of that.

Let's get back to the story now, shall we?

Eventually, the two sides met in the alleyway. They stared grimly at one another from opposite ends.

Andrea was perched on Liz's shoulder, with a huge and attention getting gun on her shoulder. Desperado had hailed by with an interesting array of what looked like football gear on. Samos was menacingly waving his cane, and Onin was hollering in an extremely vulgar way. Pecker said, "Oh, to hell with it! I'm going to their side!", and promptly smashed into a wall. Cir growled threateningly, and fell off Desperado's shoulder. Kleiver and Damas both looked incredibly scary, decked out in their Wasteland getup as they were.

Opposing them was Jak's team, who, for some reason, were all piled together in something that vaguely resembled a dog pile.

It was about-

THE BATTLE OF THE PIES!

(At this point, the author begins to bang her head on the keyboard. Nikrt i978tfgv0r5 c809tfv7r. See?)

THE BATTLE OF THE PIES!

THE BATTLE OF THE PIES!

THE BATTLE OF THE PIES!

THE BATTLE OF THE PIES!

(Author disappears from lying stunned on aforementioned keyboard)

Boom.

Boom.

Boom.

(Author reappears sweaty and slightly out of breath with Gaara's dented and scratched gourd in tow, and then continues to type frantically in an effort to keep rabid reviewers and readers from killing her)

Anyway, the fight eventually got started by the two teams lining up on either side of the alley.

"CHARGE!" howled Liz, brandishing a huge kunai three feet long that she had probably stolen from a ninja. Has the author mentioned how much she likes Naruto yet?

Emi yelled back, "DIE!", and threw an apple pie.

Thus, the fight commenced.

Pies were flying, thick and fast; Sarea went down, covered from head to toe in multiple pie flavors. Andrea was knocked flying off Liz's shoulder, and managed to get herself slammed into a wall. A huge cheesecake came out of nowhere and sent Jak, Torn, and Samos flying.

The battle raged for an insanely long amount of time that no one could _ever_ even _dream_ about; in short, ten minutes.

Yatta yatta yatta… uh… okay. Please hold while author picks up thread of narration once again.

Alright then! Um… after the furious ten minutes of flying pies, Errol decided to float calmly and innocently down the annihilated alley way.

Pies were everywhere… on walls, under abandoned zoomers, and in the trash bins. Pie filling was lying three feet deep on the ground, a lot like the snow on Snowy Mountain back from the first game. Some of it was white like snow, too.

Both teams had been knocked down in the struggle, and were buried under the pie goop. Except for Pecker, who had been squished on the wall.

Thus… uh… heavy destruction to an innocent alley and a bunch of pies did _not_ save the day.

* * *

A/n- Yes, yes, I know it's been a long time.

I have been lazy.

I am too lazy to write teh author's note :3

-animedragongirl


	17. Camping

A/n- I'M BACK!

**Disclaimer-** Not mine! Though I can own stock from their company.

* * *

17. Camping 

"So…" Jak said. "Who exactly gave us this all-expenses-paid camping trip anyway?"

"It's for me," Daxter corrected, "but it said to invite all of you guys. I can only imagine that someone fell for my marvelous charms, and yet another conquest of a female's heart belongs to me!..."

Everyone tuned him out, of course. Except for Torn, who threw his knife at him, causing him to squeak and duck out of sight.

All of Jak's team was on an all-expenses-paid-by-a-mysterious-benefactor camping trip in the Forest. They didn't know why, but they were.

Anyway, the point is they were camping in a godforsaken wilderness, with big, freaky dinosaur-like metal heads and strange sounds from every direction and-

Readers: GET ON WITH THE STORY! WE'VE WAITED FIVE MONTHS!

Author: Yeah, yeah. Silence, minions!

At the current time, they were sitting around a campfire roasting marshmallows and hot dogs, which, by a convenient plot hole and immense bribery on the part of the author, have been thrown into this three-dimensional computer-animated video game by the game designers. Daxter was now standing behind Torn, and whenever said elf's head was turned, he mimed stabbing the dreadlocked dude with his poker. Everyone else was struggling not to laugh.

"So," Jak repeated as Torn began to chase the diminutive rodent around the fire with several sharp, pointy knives and threats of turning him into purses and/or fur stoles. "Who gave us this thing, anyway?"

Grus jumped in, pulled out a note, and re-read it. "Not sure. It just says 'We hope you enjoy this fun trip to the godforsaken wilderness with big, freaky dinosaur-like metal heads and strange sounds coming from every direction and ghosts. Please enjoy this trip that costs you absolutely nothing. Signed, a lot of people who can't wait to sca- see you happy.'"

Ashelin thought for a moment. "It doesn't sound suspicious," she said slowly.

"Nope," agreed both Jak and Keira.

"And it was all for Daxxie!" Tess said cheerfully. "I'm glad he's found a new friend…"

Silence.

"Right," Jynx said. "You just go on thinking that if it'll make you happy."

Of course, Razor and Emi were sitting by the fire… together… and they agreed with whatever was just said. Yeah.

Another silence fell over the group. Except for the background screams of Daxter and the angry yells of Torn.

Grus fidgeted and poked the chicken. Jak glared at the fire. Ashelin glared at Daxter as he ran around screaming.

"Hey!" Jynx said suddenly. "Let's tell ghost stories!"

"Why?" Grus wanted to know. "They're pointless."

"But I know this really good one!" the ottsel protested.

Jak shuddered. "I _hate_ ghost stories," he complained.

"Why?" Ashelin asked curiously.

Instant anime-style depression hit the blonde-slash-green guy. He drooped.

"_Ghost whumpbees_," Keira whispered behind her hand to the K.G. captain.

"Oh."

"So… we're gonna tell them now, right?" Jynx said.

"Yeah," everyone but Jak replied in unison. Torn chased Daxter off the cliff.

"OKAY!" the blonde rodent cheered. "Once there was this happy little boy who looked a lot like Jak. Anyway, he stepped on a whumpbees nest, which made them all angry, so they came after him and stung him a whole lot. He squished them all, and their ghosts came back to haunt him." Jak had whimpered at this point. "And the worst part was, they could continue to sting him _forever_ because he couldn't kill them!"

Everyone else was like "…"

"The End," Jynx finished proudly.

"That _sucked_." Ashelin said flatly.

Jak was rocking back and forth sucking on his thumb. Keira got up to comfort him.

Grus was trying to stab the chicken with her poker to roast over the fire. The little glowy muse stared hungrily at it.

Razor and Emi were in their own little world…

Sarea had fallen asleep. Tess had jumped over the cliff after Daxter.

_Buzz. Buzzzzzzzzzz._

Jak screamed. "WHUMPBEE GHOSTS!" He tried to crawl under the log he was sitting on. Everyone stared at him. Keira tried to calm him down.

_Buzzzzzzzzz. Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz._

"Are you hearing that?" Grus asked cautiously. She looked slightly scared.

Jynx patted his ears which he had stuffed with cotton. "Nope," he said proudly.

Ashelin looked uneasy. "I don't think so," she said slowly.

_BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!_

"AHHHHHHHHH!" Ashelin and Grus shrieked. "WHUMPBEE GHOSTS!" They jumped and clutched each other, chicken forgotten. The muse glowed sadly away, knowing it would never get its chicken dinner in this chapter.

And then…

LITTLE GLOWY BLOBS APPEARED!

This, strangely enough, terrorized Ashelin and Grus into running screaming back to the city. Emi and Razor looked up from staring at each other, and ran to join them, screaming all the way. Jak up and fainted, taking out Keira as he whacked her with his gun.

Sarea sat there sleeping… and sleeping…

…and Jynx fell asleep as well, since he had by this point completely lost interest in this portion of his life.

* * *

Samos's team was cackling behind the bushes as Errol manipulated the glowy blobs with a vague resemblance to whumpbees around. 

"Buahaha," cackled Damas.

"Muahaha," snickered Kleiver.

Liz and Andrea had duct-taped their mouths shut so they wouldn't give away the prank by their incessant giggling. Cir looked strangely triumphant at the sight of an unconscious Jak, and Desperado eyed Keira's knocked-out and shapely form.

"That, my friends, is revenge!" sniggered Samos. "Thank you Errol, though it feels strange to say that, for providing ghosts for us!"

Errol waved a vague hand. "Whatever."

Andrea seemed to pass out from lack of air. Liz followed suit at the sight.

"Yup…" the ghost trailed off.

* * *

A/n- :P I am evil. I know. I haven't updated this is… what… five months? Six months? Oh well… 

To catch you guys up, I am spending my first night in our old house back up in Fresno tonight… it's the sixteenth of July when I write this… and because our DSL isn't hooked up yet, I can't get on the internet. Sigh. We moved in yesterday, but we spent the night at our friends' house instead of sleeping here.

**While editing on FFnet: **It's 12:01 on the 21st right now. I haven't been able to get on for a bit.

Reason for not writing: I lost interest in the Jak and Daxter series. (BAD ME!) :P I gained a renewed interest in Naruto, and so I started writing… a lot… in that section… (I have eight Naruto stories: Five one-shots and three multi-chaptered fics. Only one FMA fic, and of course, this story, too.) And then I regained interest. So… yeah.

Yep. I'll just leave it at I'm back and I have until _next_ Sunday to write until we go on a ten-day trip to Ecuador!

-animedragongirl


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